My Gift

Ok, I broke down and purchased a holiday gift for myself. I splurged on a Sony HD/HDD camcorder. I have to say that I love it. It records on an internal hard disk and I just transfer it directly into my computer. No more tapes. It can record 8 hours of HD video or 22 hours of standard video. With the high definition, the quality is wonderful. I LOVE IT. I also bought the tripod that goes with it. The tripod has all of the controls for the camera on the handle. So I can just zoom, focus, and adjust from the handle without touching the camera. I will post some videos that I've from it soon. It also takes pictures, here are some of the pics that I've taken with it.



Happy Holidays

Just wishing everyone a very happy holiday season.


I am working on something to post next week. Until then, here are some pics of me and some of my friends at my bowling league holiday party. I was glad that they went with me, we had such a good time.

Queen Lover? /Verve

Let me tell you a little story. Last Friday night I went to a little party in Jersey City and I had noticed this one guy who came in and thought he was very attractive. I was kind of drawn to him for some reason. I mentioned to my friend (the host) that I thought this guy was hot. When he asked me who I told him and he agreed.

Later that night I ran into the guy again and we had a nice conversation with a lot of flirting. I noticed that he came across very shy. He wouldn't hardly look me in the face but I thought it was cute. Then I noticed his ass. OMG! It was a work of art, as if God took six days just to mold that. You already know that I'm an ass man so my infatuation heightened.

Finally he said that he had to go to work in the morning and had to leave. As he was heading out, I told my friend (the host) again that I thought he was the do all, be all of all that is and ever shall be. It was then that he realized who I was talking about. He thought I was talking about another guy. His words were, "Don't you know who that is?". My heart kind of sank. I told him no. He then tells me the name (I won't mention it here for privacy) and it is a VERY well known drag queen in the NYC area. You could have smacked me with a monkey.

I have never really been attracted to very feminine guys, let alone drag queens so this rocked me. But then I thought about it, if my friend hadn't told me, I would have pursued it. Now, if he carried himself, while there, in a way that I was comfortable with and he looked like any other guy that I would have dated, why am I trippin'? Maybe being a drag queen is just "a job". Kind of like someone who puts on a work uniform (McDonald's, UPS, NYPD). Well all of that has me doing some self analyzing; can I really see myself dating a drag queen? If so, would I be embarrassed to tell my friends that I am? Why does that sound so shallow of me?


Don't Forget About Verve

As always, Verve features same-gender-loving artists and supplies a venue for them to showcase their talent. I really hope that people will support this endeavour. I have some vids posted below if you would like to get an idea of the event. Please come out, you won't be disappointed. More info here at the Verve Website

Emory's B-Day Bash

One of my good friends, Emory, had a birthday dinner at Lucky Cheng's. I had never heard of the place but Emory's boyfriend, Germono, said it is really interesting. I had no clue as to what I was in for. Long story short, it is an Asian transsexual/drag queen cabaret theatre. I knew that I wasn't ready when our half naked waitress came and introduced herself like "Hi my name is Japanese Fucking Bitch and I will be your waitress. What will you pussy boys like to drink tonight? I suggest the orgy with the flaming pussy as it is very satisfying.". Umm...... yeah, that is how it all started. The night continued with my friend Derrick being pulled up on stage and practically stripped naked, Emory winning the fake orgasm contest, and the ever popular drunken karaoke. Nonetheless, I had a very good time and enjoyed the food totally and the entertainment was something to talk about.

Here are some pics, sorry for the bad quality but my camera is dead ** sniff sniff **. I have to use my cell phone for pics now.


Verve

As some of you know, I have been working with a group called the Well Entertainment group. They have been working on a monthly function called Verve. I was called at the last minute to help put a little promo together for it. Here is that piece.


The event was awesome. The venue (Brooklyn Society of Ethical Culture) used to be a mansion back in the day and has been converted. The wood craftsmanship in there was just my taste. I wish I could just buy it and turn it back into a home. The food and wine that they served was very tasty, maybe a bit too tasty for some. Some people just couldn't enough. LOL. But the most exciting were the artists, Nhojj and Crystal Monee Hall. I am so sold on them. Several of their songs that they performed that night are now some of my favorite songs. I haven't had time to edit all of the video but here is a taste. This is Crystal singing "Traveler". The compression isn't too good but will be better on the final export.




You can catch these artists again next month (12/20) as they perform again at this venue. But I will keep reminding you here on my blog.

A Letter To Love (Romantic)

Well, you finally did it. I have fallen out of love with you. I can't tolerate your manipulative endeavours. The way that you have people fall for you only to hurt them. How do you manage to entice people to fall for you so? On the surface you are alluring, dangling your gift boxes of empty promises. On the inside you are worm wood; rotting from the inside. You are a virus infecting the unaware and naive. I see your intrinsic self in how you treat my friends. The twisted way you invoke temporary fits on jealous insanity. How do you trick people to keep giving so much of themselves that they are nothing more than a reprobate? What is your opium that causes people to remain with you even after seeing your flaws, your vices - your self? You are a stain. There is no use for you. What are you good for? There's even no use for you in heaven, you're not even welcomed there. Well, no more. This fool has wised up. Farewell to you and the Babylon whore that you clawed your way out of like the miscreation you are. I have fallen so much out of love with you that even the idea of you causes bouts of nausea and anxiety.

Verve


Well, things have been busy lately. As per my last post, I did some work for the PAUSE conference and really enjoyed it. Now, I am working with a group called Well Entertainment Group. They are currently putting on a monthly event called Verve. The first one will be this Friday, November. See the flyer for more info.

Busy As Hell


Sorry that I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks. Things have really just been busy. I will be presenting the speakers at the PAUSE Conference which is an exploration of concept and design within Broadcast and Film. From :30 commercial spots to feature film projects, PAUSE examines the creative and technical approaches of industry leading studios and agencies. I will full access to all parties and events corresponding to the conference. It is going to be a wonderful opportunity to network and see some of the works of the key leaders in the industry. I'm so excited.

I also was able to get my foot in the door to help with a music video being created for Amnesty International. I am excited about this because this is a realm that I haven't had the chance to embark upon. I am looking forward to really using this opportunity to learn new skills and make even more contacts. There will be more information on this later and I will post the finished product here also. So the next several weeks are going to be crazy but well worth the time and effort.

Live

My Lord, I know I've been away for a while but I'm back. I guess I inadvertently took the summer off.

Well to get everyone up to date, I am single again. The last one didn't work out or I should say at least not yet. We are still cool but it was just bad timing for both of us. So we decided to separate until things turn around to avoid growing to hate each other. Work is about the same and the bowling league has restarted. We now have 20 lanes of LGBT teams of four. Wow.

OK, so now something that has really been on my mind. So often when it comes to relationships, many of you have heard me use the phrase, "A love that hasn't lived will never die." In other words, sometimes you may know that the person that you are with is a dawg, they misuse you, cheat on you, take your money and your time and despite all of this, you still have a flame for them. Even though you know in your heart they are not the right one for you, you may have a love for them is not exhausted. Until that love is exhausted, my belief is, you can not truly move on.

Even if you force it by leaving them and possibly even begin dating someone else, your mind and heart will still be distracted. I believe that you will not openly and honestly divulge yourself into that new relationship or new life despite your best efforts. It is not until you allow that love for Mr. Wrong to be exhausted that you are liberated and freed to proceed with your life to the fullest. Of course, this is just my opinion.

Well, the other day I began to think about it in another way. What if you think about it as a way to preserve life? Suppose as long as you have a love for anything (romantic or otherwise) you will continue to exist or live. For example, how many times have we seen or heard of an elderly married couple that once one passes away, the other pass shortly thereafter. Or an elderly person that has passed away shortly after they retired. As if the minute that their love or passion was exhausted, they died.

I have made a vow to myself to keep loving God, family, life, and people.

Hallelujah!!!

As some of you know, I dropped by Blackberry Pearl in the toilet about a month ago while brushing my teeth hastily. Some of you know because you were the unfortunate victims of countless blank text messages and/or phone calls that it would make without my prompting. lol Well, after much deliberating, sweat and tears, I have finally broken down and purchased my new cell phone. Let me introduce you to my Prada. That's right, I said Prada. It was designed by the Prada House down to the leather carrying case and developed by LG. Let me just say that I feel fabulous. lol

It has a touchscreen interface and is smaller than the iPhone. It definitely doesn't have all of the features that come standard on the iPhone but is enough for what I need. It uses the FlashLite user interface which means that it will be easy for me to create my own applications as needed. It comes with a video player that will play mpeg4, H.263 and H.264 videos, music player, document viewer (.ppt, .doc, .xls. pdf.txt), Bluetooth, 2.0 mp camera and video recorder, and radio. I still have to play with it a little more, I just got it on yesterday. I will post some of the images and video from it soon.

Last Minute But Worth It

I just received this email and am trying to get it out ASAP. I definitely plan on getting my tickets for this. This will also be great for those of you who have company coming in town during the holiday season. Tickets must be picked up on Saturday, September 13 between 10 a.m. - 8 p.m.

A night of Ailey for $19.58.
Tickets for this December 4th performance will be sold ONLY
at the Target 1958 Night On-Sale Party at the New York City Center Box Office.
Saturday, September 13th beginning at 10AM.
Learn more at www.alvinailey.org/target1958

Coraline

If you loved "A Nightmare Before Christmas", I think that you will really enjoy this. It won't be out until 2/09 but wanted to help start a buzz.

Dreamgirls - The Lost Scene

You all know that I love the movie Dreamgirls but this was just too funny to me. I like that they keep cracking up in the background.

No Romance Without Finance? / White Party 2008


There has been a question on my mind for quite a while and am just now blogging about it. Sad, I know. But, I was talking with a co-worker a few months ago about her love life and she said that she had met this guy on-line and he seemed really nice. A few days later and after a few more conversations with the guy, she said they were going to meet. They had dinner and he was very attractive a great company. She could find nothing wrong with him, except that he worked as a truck driver. My response was, "So?". She said that she didn't want to date a blue collar worker. I asked, "Even if he makes a decent living?". She said that it doesn't matter. She can't get past dating a blue collar worker.

I was a little thrown back by this and thought of her way of thinking a bit superficial. But then I remember that several of my friends talk all of the time that they would date anyone who doesn't at least bring in what they bring in (money-wise) and that I shouldn't either. After talking with them a bit deeper, I understand that they want someone that is financially stable. In this way they can help bring each other upwards as opposed to having to carry someone. They also tell me that I should be looking for someone that, at least, has a least a masters. In other words, being my equal.

All of that had me thinking, am I too lenient with my dating practices? I usually don't look at someone's Y-T-D gross, net or their investment portfolio. As long as you can pay your bills and we can go out without you coming to me for money all of the time, then I'm cool. I also don't think that you need a piece of paper to say that you are intelligent. What do you think? Do I need to step up my game?


Pictures From The White Party 2008

Election 2008

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

New Gnarles Barkley

I was sent this video today and I love it. I just had to post it. Click on the image below. I may taken a minute to download. Then will pop Quicktime. Just press play. After viewing it, please post your feelings about relationships, and previous break-ups. I will probably be posting again in a few days. Just been kind of busy. Anyway, enjoy!!!

Psyop Directs Converse Vid

Not my favorite song in the world but love the commercial.

Santogold, Julian Casablancas, and N.E.R.D. Produced by Pharrell

Damaged


Well, in case some of you haven't heard, I was in a car accident. I am not hurt, well at least no immediate signs but my car (Polo) is in a mess. I couldn't believe it. I drove all the way from Brooklyn and was within one block of my job when this lady plowed into the back of me. She hit me hard enough to deploy her airbag and something went through the windshield. Her car filled with smoke and both her and her five year old son had to be put in the ambulance. Anyway, I am just waiting for the police report and my car is already in the shop. Here are some pics of my baby.

My Weekend

Saturday
I had the busiest day ever last Saturday, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I was with my new boo and we spent the whole day together. We had brunch and then went to the Chelsea Gallery Art Tour. It was the last one for the season and it really had some amazing work. I took pics but they do the work no justice. Even had the chance to talk with one of the artists one-on-one. We exchanged info and I may be doing some work with her. I am excited about it because her work at this gallery was going to $18,000 each baby. You know I'm excited. We then went to Eyebeam and seen one of my friend's interactive oragami work. Here is a little video of Antonio (Boo) playing with it and of one of the pieces from the gallery tour.



We then shot up to the Bronx Pride for a minute and chilled out there. It was deep in the cut but was a really nice park. I was surprised that they had shuttle busses to take everyone back and forth to the train station. The entertainment was cute and was overall a good time.

We then came down and ate at Mama Buddha's in the West Village. While there we got a call from one of Antonio's friends having a party in Brooklyn. So you know we had to go.

At the party there were a huge amount of lesbians there but you know I love my lesbians. But there was this one little boy there that had me cracking up the whole time dancing. He was so into it. He even danced out of his shirt. Do your thang bwoi.


Sunday,
... my Boo was out of town so I spent the day without him. It was all good though, I went to church at our new location (310 West 139th Street 1:00 pm Worship) and we had CRAZY CHURCH. OMG I couldn't even believe it. I had to catch me a few good steps. Afterwards, some friends and I went down to 23rd street BBQ's to eat. It was all about afterwards. We walked out of BBQ's and I see this very tall lady walking in the crowd and thought how she looked very exotic and even pointed her out to my friends. We walked down 8th Ave for a minute when we decided we were going to hand out flyers for a church event after pride (see below for flyer). So some of us headed back to my car on 23rd street when I noticed that lady sitting at the bus stop on 23rd street, right in front of BBQ's and this is how she is sitting ya'll;



Speechless

We've come a long way baby.

Glad To Be Back

As some of you know, I had to go to Orlando with the company for the Microsoft TechEd Expo. Other than us having to pay our way to be reimbursed, it was nice. The weather was beautiful, other than a little rain here and there and the conference was a lot of fun. The best part for me was that I was going to meet up with my ex-girlfriend who was coming down from Atlanta and we were going to stay a few extra days. That's right, I said ex-girlfriend. No wise cracks. Anyway, her job had to send her to California so we couldn't meet up. I was disappointed because I wanted to go to Universal Studios but as part of the conference they sent to to Universal anyway. On top of that the park was closed off to only the participants and everything, I mean EVERYTHING was free. All of the food, alcohol, rides, snacks, etc. We had a blast and you have to go on the Simpson ride, it was fantastic. Anyway, here are some pics.


La Proxima Pride
Well, another pride celebration is down. A couple of weeks ago, I went to Asbury Park's pride and last Saturday I went to Brooklyn's. It would have been a lot more fun had it not been for the off and on rain. I didn't think I would like the evening parade but it was mad cool. I went with Elizabeth, and Hasan and we met this lady on the train with her friend and baby who were going. So we hung out with them all day and it was quite interesting. I thought there would be more blacks there but was not the case. Here are some of the pics before I becamse distracted.


Distracted

While at Pride and in between the rain falls, I headed down the stairs to meet back up with Elizabeth and Giovanni and noticed this cute bruh checking me out. So after I met up with my friends, I b-lined back up to where he was. He was there with a few friends but was still staring. So I motioned for him to come over and we met in the middle of the two groups. We started talking and seemed mad cool. I thought he was Dominican but he is Rican/Irish/Indian mix. Long story short, we hung out all that night; marching in the parade, eating out, going to his house for movies, staying the night (innocently lol), and spending the rest of the next day together. We'll see what happens.

Lalah's Back
I don't know how many of you are Lalah Hathaway fans. She is the daughter of the late Donnie Hathaway and can sing ya'll. She is more of a laid back easy jazz singer but I love her. Last time I posted something by her, I received a lot of responses saying that they love her voice. Her voice is sultry smooth and controlled. If I could sing like her I would never talk again. I would sing everything. See, God knows what He's doing. lol Anyway here is a video slideshow with a cut from her new CD. I got my hands on the CD last night along with Dianne Reeves. Yeah!!!

The Ballad of Mary Slade - Robin Fuller

This is not really for the squeamish but I found this very interested.

Following the death of a young woman, the tragic story of her life and eventual demise slowly unfolds as the insects that consume her decaying body become actors in the fateful retelling of her downfall.

This was his first short film to be released to film festivals, making it's debut at Slamdance in January 2007


The Bodies Exhibit Exposed

Another post this week but I couldn't resist. I know many of you know about the Bodies Exhibit but for those who don't, it is a fascinating exhibit of preserved, skinless bodies. You are able to see the intricate workings of real human bodies from the inside out. The exhibit, according to the museum, is made up of people who have voluntarily donated their bodies to the exhibit for educational and artistic purposes. More info can be found here.

Anyway, I just read that some people have had problems with the exhibit, claiming that some of the bodies weren't truly donated as posted. According to this report, many of the bodies on exhibit are those of Chinese prisoners that have been tortured or executed. Other bodies are those of the poor, unclaimed or unidentified. It even goes as far as to suggest that there are actually factories that "find" bodies and preserve them for the shows.

I found this disturbing and really hope it not to be true. I have long promoted the show and even talked some of my fellow bloggers into going with me a year or so ago.

I'll Miss You Cathy / Bike Ride For Life?!?

Just to give everyone an update on my friend Cathy, due to health reasons, she is moving to Ohio with relatives until the fall. Cath, you will be missed and I can't wait to see you again. Take care of yourself and be blessed.

On another note, a coworker sent this to me and I just had to post from CNN. "A car plowed into a weekend bike race along a highway near the U.S.-Mexico border, killing one and injuring 10 others, police said.

The 28-year-old driver was apparently drunk and fell asleep when he crashed into the race, said police investigator Jose Alfredo Rodriguez.

A photograph taken by a city official showed bicyclists and equipment being hurled high into the air by the collision.

Rodriguez said Juan Campos was charged with killing Alejandro Alvarez, 37, of Monterrey.

Authorities said the wreck happened 15 minutes into the 34-kilometer (21 mile) race Sunday along a highway between Playa Bagdad and Matamoros, across from Brownsville, Texas."

News On Cathy Delaleu / Finally

First off, let me just give some news that I heard on yesterday. Cathy Delaleu called me and told me that she is in the hospital. She said that she had a stroke and will be hospitalized for a couple of days. For those who know her, let's call her. I am planning on going to see her sometime on Saturday if anyone is interested.

Finally
As some of you know, I have been talking about my job moving from Parsippany to Morristown. And you know a bruh was stressed since I am now over the website and graphics area. My boss wanted a zero downtime or as close as possible knowing that we are locally hosted. I was a nervous wreck but we did the move on yesterday and it went through without a hitch. So that is half my stress gone. Now I am in preparation for the trade show in Orlando in less than two weeks. OMG. Anyway, I finally have my own office with a door. Yeah, I am so excited and I love the area that the office is located. So anyway, here are some pics undecorated and the view. I'll post more after I get settled in. I love it.


LMAO!!!

She meant this!!!

Wii Fit May Be PC Un-Fit

I have been laughing my ass off at this article.

"A number of parents have expressed concerns over Nintendo creating bad body images after a concerned family member complained that Wii Fit labeled her relative overweight.

"My [relative] came round this weekend and we let her play on our Wii Fit", a member of the DISBoards wrote. "We have all laughed and joked about being told that we're fat and need to lose weight but I was gobsmacked when it told her that she is overweight."

According to the poster, the girl in question is a healthy 4"9 10-year-old who swims, dances and weighs only six stone. "She is solidly built," the poster adds, "but not fat."

But she "was devastated to be called fat," the poster said, "and we had to work hard to convince her that she isn't. I know it is just a game but seriously we already have to worry about young girls starving themselves to look like the magazine models and now we have a game that tells them they're fat."

Shocked forum users responded angrily, spurring the user on to write an email to Nintendo. At the time of writing, they have yet to reply.

We reckon this could make a good story line in an upcoming episode of Hollyoaks. 'Good' by Hollyoaks' standard anyway..."


But that wasn't the best part. I just had to see what this game looked like and see what's up. So I go to the website to investigate and this is what you see:
I can't stop laughing.

New Intro

This is a piece that I created for my job as the opening for the demo. Tell me what you think so far. This will be playing at the tradeshows. Again, this is just the opening, I will post other sections as they come. Just click on the image below to view in QuickTime.


Taboo

We as Americans treat such a normal part of life as sex as taboo. When in secret, it is one of the driving forces in our culture and has driven technology trends for over a century. Pornography was the first to really capitalize on the first photography and video camera as an avenue of circulation. The first printed material without words to go into circulation was of erotic pictures. And stag films were the most widely distrubuted independent films during the early part of last century. Some of which are some of the most creative and visually stunning pieces that I've seen.

It is also noteworthy to say the back in the 80's when we had the VHS vs BETA wars, that it was because of the lucrative porn industry that switched to VHS that abruptly lead the to the fall of the BETA. It is even rumored that it helped swing the Blu Ray vs HDDVD fight.

It is interesting that even when it comes to computers, sexuality has lead its evolution. In the 1920's, the first computer was created and man quickly personalized the inanimate object. How did they personalize it? ... as a woman as seen in the movie "Metropolis" in 1927. The woman was fashioned after a very beautiful woman and moved very seductively. Of course, part of this was patterned after the idea that a robot is like a woman and is supposed to cater to a man's every need and desire. It has evolved into an even more erotic scenario as seen by this video by Bjork. Yes it's another Bjork video but if you haven't seen it before, it is worth watching.


On top of that, more and more studies prove that people use their computers for porn more than any other use. So if all of this is the case, why are we so prudent when it comes to the discussion of sex?

Bloggers Unite!!!


Well, didn't we have a time this weekend. Above are some pics from last weekend's festivities where I and some of the other bloggers met up in Baltimore. They were Fuzzy, ShawnQt, Warren, X, Joey, Norris, CocoaRican, E, Jared, Andre and Darius.

There are so many things that can be said about this weekend but I will try to make it quick. I have to first say that for so many gay people to be together for a whole weekend, there was no shade (that I seen anyway) and I can honestly say that I enjoyed EVERYONE's company. You guys know that Fuzzy, Shawn and X are my boys but I love me some Cocoa, and Jared for their quick wits and matter of fact sensibility. Not to mention that they are funny as all get-out. Warren for his cool, collected, giving and will disappear on your ass personality. lol. Norris with his fine, country (oh I mean southern) self. Darius is just so sincere, loveable and huggable. I love he. I thought E would be more talkative than he was based on his blog but he would say little things on the sly that was too funny. Joey is just a crazy nut but yet regal. Don't get it twisted though he will have you cracking up and don't get him and Jared together.

My favorite quotes from this weekend:
"And let that be the reason."
"Honey, you can mix that alcohol with some juicy-juice if you want to but I'm telling you, you'll only have Dimetap."
"You can have those eggs too but those bitches didn't crack when I bought them."
"Florida. Why is my name Florida?!? That's the name of a state."

On another note, this is still too funny to me.

Madonna/Timbaland/Timberlake

Fuzzy's B-Day Bash/Fighting Sides/Update

Fuzzy's B-Day Bash


Fighting Sides
Ok, sorry that it took me so long to post this topic but had to think about how to word everything. For those who read the "Wanderlust" post. Here are the words to the song. This will better lead into my post.

"I am leaving this harbour,
giving urban a farewell.
Its habitants seem too keen on God
I cannot stomach their rights and wrong.
I have lost my origin,
and I don't want to find it again
Rather sailing into nature's laws
and be held by ocean's paws

Wanderlust!
relentlessly craving
Wanderlust—
peel off the layers until you get to the core.
Did i imagine it would be like this?
Was it something like this i wished for,
or will i want more?

Lust for comfort suffocates the soul
this relentless, restlessness
liberates me.
I feel at home whenever
the unknown surrounds me.
I receive its embrace
aboard my floating home.

Wanderlust!
Relentlessy craving wanderlust.
Peel off the layers until you get to the cor.e
Did I imagine it would be like this?
Was it something like this I wished for,
or will I want more?

Wanderlust!
From island to island.
Wanderlust!
United in movement.
Wonderful.
I enjoy it with you
Wanderlust!

Can you spot a pattern?
Relentlessy restless
Restless relentlessy
Restless relentlessy
Restless relentlessy "


Anyway I have been feeling very torn lately between who I view myself as and who I really am and who I want to be. Specifically, am I ready for a relationship now? After my roommate left and I started living alone for the first time in over 10 years (caring for my grandmother /relationship/grad school roommate). I also seemed to have had a change of heart regarding relationships. Prior to him leaving, I wanted one so bad that I could hardly stand it. Now, I am not sure what I want. I'm not sure if it is because my life has had a couple of huge changes so fast and my emotions/mind hasn't totally absorbed it or what. All of this comes at the strangest time to me. I have had so many people express interest lately that it just makes me want to yell, "Where were all of you when I was looking". lol

As of late, I have been .... exploring my freak side in more ways than one. Although that phase is becoming old, I still like being able to do whateva I want, wheneva I want and howeva I want. At the same time I wander if that is really me or just someone that I want to be maybe even temporarily. Sometimes I become shy about it because I wonder how others will view me with some of the things that I am doing. Then I’m wondering if this is just a phase. I feel so pre and/or adolescent, wondering what my peers may think.

Update
So on to what’s new. I went to Edwin's B-Day bash a couple of weeks ago and I carried on. I was very .... friendly that night. Despite all of that, there was a guy (Roberto) who expressed interest. There were others too but Roberto seemed to be the most sincere. I gave him my number thinking that he would be like most people and forget who I am when they sober up but to my surprise, he called. So last weekend, he wanted to come in town. So I gathered some friends together and we hung out on Sunday going to the GLBT Expo at the Javits Center, Brunch and Dinner. A full day of fun but I realized that he was becoming VERY attached. Then at dinner he tells us that he has only messed with one other guy. All of my friends got twinkles in their eyes but I just became concerned. Then I found out that I got his age mixed up in translation and thought he said 35 but he is only 25. But the fire was on when we got back to my apartment. He evidently had been waiting a long time and it showed. Anyway, we'll see what happens with him. I will keep you informed but for now here are some pics/vids.


I just couldn't refuse this. Sorry for it being sideways. This is Roberto, God bless his heart.

Family Pics, Shawn's B-Day Brunch, Hasan's B-Day Brunch, and Edwin's B-Day Party

Sorry for yet another post this week, but was slow on posting these pics and had to put them up before I was tortured by my family and friends. Don't forget to see the previous post to get an idea of what I will be talking about in my next post. Here is one branch of my family tree.



Björk - "Wanderlust"

I know that most people I know, aren't really into Björk's music but you have to give it to her for creativity. It is so weird because even though I read about the making of this video a while ago, I didn't know what it was about. As always, I stood in anticipation for a Björk video. But this morning on the way in to work, I finally figured how I wanted to word my next post. When I saw this video I couldn't believe how close it is to the topic I wanted to post. Anyway, out of curiosity, I was wondering if you would post what you get out of this video before my next entry? This isn't to try to tell someone they're stupid or off base of anything like because we can all get something different out of it. It is purely just for curiosity's sake. Click on the image below to view. It may take a few minutes to load.

A Little Eyecandy Until My Next Post

Nothing much to say right now. I have something to blog about but need to pull my thoughts together. In the meantime, here is a reel that I worked on for a friend of mine. I know that the video part will sometimes get a little jagged when streamed but check it out and tell me what you think.



I don't know how many people will remember this series from MTV's Liquid Television but this is still too funny to me. I know, I'm goofy, right?!?

Pictures From Greg's First Birthday Party.

What Is Art?

As some of you already know, I love going to galleries and viewing the latest in contemporary art. I usually to to a Gallery Tour the 3rd Saturday of each month that focuses on lgbt artists and really enjoy it. I have seen many awe-inspiring, creative and imaginative pieces. But I also see pieces that leave me wondering, wtf?!? It really makes one question, "What Is Art?".

Here are some pics from some of the exhibits that I liked



Now for this piece that I read about on the internet. An "artist" from Costa Rica - Guillermo Habacuc Vargas - as an installation piece took a dog from the street and caused it to suffer and starve to death in the name of Art. The dog was tied up in one part of the room as visitors came and stared at him. To add insult to injury, the sign for the exhibit was made of dog food. So not only was the dog hungry but could see and smell food continuously but was unable to partake. Pictures can be seen here. By the way, you can go here to sign a petition to stop the gallery from supporting this piece by going here.


On the gallery tour was an exhibit by Bjarne Melgaard. His work was very cohesive in that it had furniture, paitings, writings and a video piece. The paintings were very primative and really didn't appeal to me only because I don't care for that style. But I noticed that one had the words, "Fucking you is like fucking a dark horse". Of course I was like wtf?!? But when I saw the video piece, it all came together. The video was of a man who proceeds to give oral satisfaction to a horse. I MEAN, he was REALLY into it. After a few minutes of that, he proceeds to go down on a man standing next to him. After a little play, they both began going down on the horse like it was strawberry ice cream in July. I couldn't stomach too much after that. The gallery said that the video was found on the street by the artist while traveling either to Spain or Italy. He just took and placed some overlays, graphices, etc over it. I thought I heard someone say that it was on sale for .... $25,000.

The Frame That Exists Before the Photograph

Ok, sorry it took so long to post something but after the double deaths in the family, it has been crazy. On my way back to Indy, I had time to reflect on when my mom, uncles, grandparents, etc were alive while I was growing up. I remember it was like the Cosby show. There was all of the love that I could have ever wanted in just those few people. Even throughout the bad times, the love was more than evident. I often brag about being blessed with having my great-great grandmothers living until I was in high school and both sets of my great-grandparents were alive to see me graduate from high school. All of them passing their wisdom down to me. The long talks, how they could explain the world to me and teach me how to be a better person. I have to admit my life has been a pretty photograph overall.

I really didn't realized how much I missed my family until I went back. This time is was very evident that they missed me too. I could see in the younger one's eyes and hear in their voice that they are looking for me to be what my mom, uncle, and grandmother were to me when I was growing up. They want me to be that pillar in the family. The one that keeps everyone together. The one that keeps everyone sane. The confidant, the listening ear, the open heart, the one that just understands.

I was at the funeral and really just thought how bitter-sweet this experience was for me. Even with all of the happiness of seeing each other after so long, there was also a blinding light. For the first time, I could notice the fear, feel their lost of drive, smell the realization of their mortality in each of the older generation's very being. I could read in their eyes as they looked at each other, "Who's next?"

For the first time I see the frame that exists before the photograph.

Missed Question/Family Drama/Would You Want To Know?/Just For Laughs

Missed Question
Thanks for all of the birthday wishes. It really made me feel nice. There was a question from the last post that wasn't answered, so I will answer it now. Cathy (Lyrically speaking) asked, "My question to you is Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

I see myself with the following:
In my own house
In a steady relationship
Having at least two shows a year
Debt free (including student loans)
D/D free
Being a better friend
Living quite comfortably (financially)
Giving back more to the community

Family Drama
I am trying not to make this a long or sad post but just for an update in my life. One of my favorite uncles passed on Sunday. He had a stroke and was in the house a couple of days before anyone noticed to check on him. Which is not to blame anyone because he was kind of to himself sometimes. Then I found out yesterday morning at work that my grandfather in CA passed. I don't like to show emotion at work but I totally lost it.

Now my uncle was on my mom's side and my grandfather is on my dad's side and the funerals are on the same day. One in Indy and the other, of course, in CA. I feel really torn as to which I should attend. Especially since my mom's side of the family kind of disowned my dad after he remarried so soon after my mom's death. I know if I attend my grandfather's, there will be so much hell to pay but at the same time I really want to support my dad during his time of loss. Family drama is so frustrating.

Would You Want To Know?
I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with a friend over this past weekend. If you haven't seen it, I won't go too far into it but it is worth seeing. And if you are going to see it, don't continue reading. lol Anyway, it leads to some thought-provoking questions that I wonder how you would answer. So sound off:

If you could totally erase the memories of someone that you once loved who has broken your heart, would you?

While you are yet falling in love with someone, you both found a note from the future. In the note, it describes everything that you hate about that other person explaining why you guys break up. Would you continue seeing that person?

Just For Laughs

My 100th and Birthday Post

That's right, today is my birthday. I thought I would feel depressed but I feel good in my soul. Yay, Happy Birthday to me.

Preguntas
In my last post, I stated that I would answer questions that anyone had for me in celebration of my 100th post. I have only received two and they are:

1) "Where's your favorite place to go to have fun?"
I can't really say that there is one place that I go to have fun. It all depends on my mood. If I am feeling stressed, I will go salsa dancing out in Queens or just go out to a club. Sometimes it is ALL about staying home and watching a movie and being lazy. I also enjoy just hanging out with friends. I can just go to a friends house and chill doing nothing. And of course, I love creative and cultural events of all types. In other words, if I think that I will like it, I'm on my way. lol

2) If you had a choice to be straight, would you?
This is a good one. I really would have to say that it would have depended on when I was asked. If I were asked before I was comfortable with my sexuality, then I would have quickly taken the offer. But now, I honestly have to say that I don't know. My gut tells me that I would eventually say no and accept what God has given me.


Disco Diva Meets Bohemian Beauty

I went to my friend's, Marco Hall, Fashion Show on yesterday and really have to say that I was blown away. You know how people tell you that they do something and you underestimate them? Well that was me on last night. He invited me to his show and I'm thinking like a church fashion show but what I received was this:





I have to say, "Congratulations Marco!!! I am soooo proud of you!!!". The venue was excellently chosen, the music was driven and the clothes were fantastic. Thank you for the invite and the inspiration.

Preguntas?/Gallery Tour

Preguntas
Well, I am almost there guys. My next post will be my 100th. Seems like it took me forever. I guess it doesn't help when I do double/triple posts in one. lol Anyway, I am going to take people's questions and answer them in my next post. So go ahead and post any questions that you have for me here and my next post will answer them, as long as they are in good taste. lol Well, maybe some of those too.

Gallery Tour I also attended another gallery tour in Chelsea and this one was not as exciting until we got to the end. My favorites were, coincidentally, African and African-American.

This African artist used the metal from around liquor bottles and made these pieces. You can see the scale of them by the people standing next to them. There were three huge rooms foold of these pieces. Each one started at $250,000 and the gallery sold out in less than two hours after opening. Viva Africano.


The African-American artist used those posters that you see all around town promoting everyting from movies to new CD's. He would rip some of them down and then past them in this 2D 1/2 pieces. They actually look like maps from a distance but are nothing other than paper that made look that way.

Here are some of the other pieces. Some of these are videos, if blogger will act right for me today.


This has me feeling a bit .. orgasmic!!! / For My Football Fans




For My Football Fans

Scents/My Weekend/ The Future?!?

Scents
I hope that this doesn't sound weird to most of you but I just had to blog about it. Have you ever paid attention to a person's personal scent? I don't mean their funk but just the natural smell of a person. For some reason, I am very keen on picking the scent up of those who are close to me. It has done everything from giving me a loving and warm feeling all the way to where it just excites me almost to orgasm. I still can't smell Halston to this day without ... well, let's just say my first voluntary experience with a man was a guy who wore Halston.

Of course, each one of my family members smell is like plastered in my head even though we are miles apart. After my mom passed, I took parts of her clothing which had her scent on it and brought it home with me and placed it in this cabinet that is very air tight. Every now and again, I pull it out and smell it, reminisce, and cry a little. Well, my old roommate is moving out and while cleaning, I decided to take a moment to smell the cloth. That's when I realized how faint her smell is on the cloth and took me a while to catch it. My heart felt as if it was going to explode. I know that it will eventually lose its smell and am actually surprised that it has lasted this long but it still hurts.


This Weekend
On a lighter note, I love my Christmas gift to myself which is this Sony Cybershot camera. I have a higher end camera that works great but is not small enough for just a night on the town and/or carrying for those spontaneous shots. Anyway, here are more vids/pic, these are from this past weekend.
Here is the birthday girl (the one with the Coronna in her hand). She is almost 70 years old guys.



Here is Guadalupe representing for the big gurls. I love she. lol




The Future Is Now!?!
As some of you already know, NYC is instituting new pay public toilets. That's right, you have to pay to pee. No more pee for free. I thought this pic in the NY Times is hilarious. These people are so proud of themselves.

Creative Challenge/Dating Disasters

Creative Challenge
The next creative challenge will focus on your resolutions/goals for 2008. Remember, your submissions can be anything from photos to songs to graphics. As longs as it ties into your idea for the theme.

Theme: Resolutions/Goals for 2008
Due: 2/1/08

Dating Disasters

Let me start off by saying that this is not a sad post. As some of you will testify, dating as a gay/bi/transgendered/transfigured (lol) etc makes for some horrible dating situations. Everything from people who still aren't comfortable with their sexuality having you jump out of windows from the fourth floor, naked to avoid being seen by their friends and neighbors. To those who are very comfortable with their sexuality having you jump out of windows from the fourth floor, naked to avoid their lover that they neglected to tell you about.

Well, I have been talking with a straight co-worker of mine who has been telling me about her life and dating. After listening to her for a while, I realized that breeders have their own issues and dating. Now, I have to admit, some of this was funny to me, actually both of us. She told me about this internet date where they were to meet for coffee. She was standing outside and saw the guy pull in. He pulled up to the curb and looked at her and drove right back out of the strip mall. The shade is that before she could get home, he had blocked her on the site. She then began telling me about how one guy had the nerve to tell her that she needed to do something about a little fat that is on her belly. Trust you me, she is by no means humongous. The shade is that the guy was under 5' 8" and was over 230 lbs and balding.

I began thinking about my worst date. I instantly knew that it was when I had met this guy back in Indiana when I was 19 years old. He lived out of town and invited me up. I wasn't going alone so I brought my half-brother (yes he was gay too) who was set up on a date by my date. We get there and it was ok until we got back to his place. My brother and I were thinking we were alone as double dates there until we heard noise upstairs. It was mine and and my brother's date sons upstairs playing together. Mind you we were just making out downstairs (not sex but close).
Then we go into the kitchen when I hear someone coming up from the garage. It was my date's wife. Oh yes, and she knew me by face, name and said that she knew I was here because my car was parked out front. That's right, that was my first time seeing or even knowing anything about her and she knew all of that about me. U-N-C-O-M-F-O-R-T-A-B-L-E!!!

So sound off, what was your worst dating disaster.

For those who like the original version of the song, here you go

Creative Challenge Submissions

Here are the submissions for the holidays creative challenge. Daniel (Fuzzy) submitted:













My submissions are (including my holiday card) :






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