No Romance Without Finance? / White Party 2008


There has been a question on my mind for quite a while and am just now blogging about it. Sad, I know. But, I was talking with a co-worker a few months ago about her love life and she said that she had met this guy on-line and he seemed really nice. A few days later and after a few more conversations with the guy, she said they were going to meet. They had dinner and he was very attractive a great company. She could find nothing wrong with him, except that he worked as a truck driver. My response was, "So?". She said that she didn't want to date a blue collar worker. I asked, "Even if he makes a decent living?". She said that it doesn't matter. She can't get past dating a blue collar worker.

I was a little thrown back by this and thought of her way of thinking a bit superficial. But then I remember that several of my friends talk all of the time that they would date anyone who doesn't at least bring in what they bring in (money-wise) and that I shouldn't either. After talking with them a bit deeper, I understand that they want someone that is financially stable. In this way they can help bring each other upwards as opposed to having to carry someone. They also tell me that I should be looking for someone that, at least, has a least a masters. In other words, being my equal.

All of that had me thinking, am I too lenient with my dating practices? I usually don't look at someone's Y-T-D gross, net or their investment portfolio. As long as you can pay your bills and we can go out without you coming to me for money all of the time, then I'm cool. I also don't think that you need a piece of paper to say that you are intelligent. What do you think? Do I need to step up my game?


Pictures From The White Party 2008

11 comments:

KB August 07, 2008 7:24 AM  

good post-you are on the right track. having a piece of paper doesn't make you better or smarter. besides, wouldn't that be boring to date someone just like yourself? not to mention superficial.

Darius T. Williams August 07, 2008 8:48 AM  

Was that Toyce in one of those pictures?

Anyway, yea, I'm w/your friend. You want someone that can at least do what you can do. That will eventually become a problem. I mean, if you make decent money, you're not terribly concerned with just getting up and going and having a good time. some dudes can't do that - and it can definitely put a slight damper in the plans. So, you have to be careful what you ask for.

fuzzy August 07, 2008 10:36 AM  

I would definitely say that having a requirement is not such a bad thing. I would say not having an open mind about it would be bad. You could miss the one for you being close minded and looking at his bank account! There is such a thing as placing yourself so high and having very few people to be that equal and you'll end up alone!

Cocoa Rican August 07, 2008 10:38 PM  

You should feel fulfilled...this would include your partner's ability to cover/reciprocate on activities and confidence in social circles - meaning the man/woman can hold their own in a convo. Outside of that and the relationship is based on something other than romantic entanglements.

Mr. Jones August 08, 2008 11:48 AM  

I've actually discussed the blue collar issue with a friend in the past and I still don't know how to feel about it. I'm a white collar worker and while I don;t have any problem with people who do blue collar jobs, I just don't know about dating one. I guess it depends on the job, too. Truck driver would be tough cus he'd ALWAYS be on the road. I just couldn't date a garbage or something. You won't get in my bed reeking. No, sir.

bLaQ~n~MiLD August 12, 2008 11:43 AM  

I had this very same convo with this dude (younger) and he tried to call me 'stuck up' or 'superficial' to which I responded "No sir. The bible says 'Be ye not unequally yoked!'" See as Mr. Jones stated, I have no problem with someone who does blue collar work. Do you babe, but conversely, I don't see anything wrong with wanting someone to be on my level or striving towards those ends...be it blue or white collar work. Let's be clear, there are some broke ass white collar workers out there too! If you can handle your busness (legally) and bring as much if not more to the table, you're good with me. Anything less is unacceptable.

~Damnit!

That Dude Right There August 13, 2008 12:20 PM  

I don't care what a person's job is as long as they can sustain themselves. While i'm sleeping comfortably at night with my blue-collar worker, the superficials can cuddle up to their degrees and bank accounts.

And lastly, a person may have what you have or more, but that doesn't automatically mean that that person is compatible with you.

Eat it!!!!!!!!!!!

bLaQ~n~MiLD August 18, 2008 6:54 AM  

ROTF@ the superficials can cuddle up to thier degrees and bank acccounts! YEEEESSS TDRT!! I hate you right now! LMAO!!

~Damnit!

yet another black guy August 22, 2008 4:21 PM  

i'm with you on this one. as long as a dude can handle his own personal responsibilities without running to me for help (at least until we live together) has a good head on his shoulders and a good heart, then i can roll with that.

Langston Baldwin September 11, 2008 12:07 PM  

That's why she is alone. What does she lack? We want love and support but don't want to support. WHAT kind of crap is that? She said she could not find something wrong except "blue collar." What's her issues???

What is job- income- stability anyways?

My ideal mate should be loving, stable minded, responsible, progressive and have the passion and sense to think for we.

This materialistic attitude is why many people are alone. They think there STATUS makes up for all there shit that they are not working on.

DAMN already- he has a job- shelter- peace of mind and open to share (I hope).

Are we not supposed to be simplifying your life?

We put a value on things. Went to a discount store and bought a waterpot for a buck. Went to IKEA a wek later and saw the same watering can for $4 and change (exact same pot).

We need do get back to the fundamentals love- good health- shelter- everything else is excess.


triple UGH!!!

What's with this carrying someone crap? If they are not bring you joy- love etc. why are you in it complaining- let them go

She is looking for herself that is why she is by herself.

I think she is a fake and her deeper fear is that she "truly" wants to be carried finacially.

A lot of people live these facades and hang on to there titles and income for merit. Why doesn't she just become a high priced call girlfor welathyu men. She wants pleasure not love. There is no income attached to genuine love.

Our generation lacks togetherness!

Didn't most of us come from blue collar backgrounds.

I detestes superficial people!

A perons's values should match not salary.

Just my opinion.

Julian September 15, 2008 7:33 PM  

this is a very interesting question. though its response isn't exactly black/white, i feel financial stability is vital for a successful relationship. love is the upmost important in a relationship but there are other elements that keep it thriving.

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