Happy Holidays

Creative Challenge Reminder
Don't forget about the "Holiday Moments" creative challenge. The deadline is 1/3/08. The picture above is one of my submissions. Remember, anything goes. It can be cellphone or camera pics to graphics, songs (Omar), poems, writings, etc. Now I know that most of you have a few days off, so there is no excuse. lol

Angels In a Winterwonderland Ball
This is from the Angels In a Winterwonderland Ball on Sunday hosted by my church (Rehoboth Temple). My church has been doing a lot of work with gay youth who have been ostracized from their family. This particular group live in a kind of shelter house that requires them to attend classes in business and other areas. So for the holidays they wanted to have a ball and we let them use the space. It was actually quite nice.

Anyway, I have to say I don't know why but I really like Berlin (the one with the crazy hair) in this video but I do. BTW, she won this category of Best Runway Walk. See if anyone can catch the shade. LOL But she handles it well. More videos are coming.

My Saturday (Pt II)

I almost forgot to mention another highlight of my Saturday. I made it out to go see Dirty Laundry. The film was written and directed by Maurice Jamal and stars Loretta Devine, Rockmond Dunbar, Jenifer Lewis, Terri J. Vaughn, Sommore and many others in this hilarious family drama. You can read more about it .here.

I thoroughly enjoyed it and am glad to see more and more mainstream actors/actresses not afraid to play in gay/gay-friendly roles. I am evern more glad to see so many gospel artists that are playing in these movies. I wonder if there will be a big coming out of the closet for some many of the big gospel artists? And no, I don't mean come out just to try to bash the lifestyle, trying to save face and money. (Did I say Donnie out loud?!? Oh, I didn't .... well!!!

Anyway, let's go and support this movie and make sure that it doesn't leave the theatre too soon

My Saturday

Before I forget, don't forget about the next creative challenge. You can find details here. Now onto my Saturday events.

Let me start off by saying that Luis came over on Friday night and stayed over. Yeah, I know... everyone is like "Wasn't he the one looking for someone to take care of him?" Yeah, but I still think of him as a friend and he is a cool person. I just ain't supporting him. Don't judge me!!! lol Well, Saturday we woke up early and went to have coffee and danishes. He had NEVER even heard of Starbucks. I thought they were everywhere now, including Honduras. Oh well.

Then we went to a drawing session at the LGBT Center. I have been attending for the last few weeks and thoroughly enjoy it. It is a great creative break. I don't pretend to be a great fine artist but just enjoy it and Luis enjoyed it as well. Here is one of my better drawings from that day. Don't laugh, I am still learning.

If anyone is interested it is $10/wk and runs every Saturday from 10 a.m. until 1 p.m. Yes, there are nude models for you bashful types but it is done in good taste.

Afterwards Luis had to go to work and I went to the Chelsea Art Tour. This event is held once a month and your paid admission ($15) gives you access to several Chelsea Art galleries and a guide who highlights notable pieces. Sometimes you even stumble on the artist there at the gallery to have a little discourse. I usually go to the LGBT one but went to the "Best Of" this time, which is pretty much the same just without a focus on the LGBT artists. I have to say that every time that I go, I usually find one or two pieces that just blow me away. I will start with that one.

I don't remember the name to this piece but I loved how just the anticipation to visualation process of this piece. As you can see from the pics that it is an installation piece. It takes up a huge area of around 30 X 30. How you walked upon the piece is from another room and all that you saw were little lines of color on the ceiling. As you followed them around, you came into this space as seen in the pictures. You can't see from the pics but it is made up of thousands of little plastic men that make up a tornado. Where the tornado touches the ground is one single plastic man.

I like this tour because open up the floor for what each groups gets from the piece. My group came up with two. One is that one man can make a change that ripples throughout the world. The other is that we all came from one man and have developed into many different cultures, races, etc as seen by the different color plastic men towards the top of the tornado.

The piece with the waterfall, towards the bottom, had the most controversy. I thought that was weird considering the next set that I will talk about. People were highly disturbed by this piece because all that the artist did was search the internet and "appropriate" other people's pictures and blow them up to about 6-8 feet tall, making them all pixelated and is charging thousands of dollars for each piece. Hmmm, I am in the wrong field. What do you think?

The bright pics that are very cartoon-ish was the next set that caused a ruckus. The white blotches that you see common throughout this set looks very much like sperm. As you can see from some of the pics that it is going into some of the guys mouth and they are playing in it and couples are having sex. Yeah, I said having sex, see if you can find them. This is all while the world is in chaos and destruction. The group's thoughts were that we live in a time where death and disease are so rampant but yet, life, love and a sense of being care-free still continues.

Ok, so that this post won't be too long, I have posted all of the pics in case people just want to see them. Mind you, the pics don't do any justice to the pieces.

Brilliant?!? Y Violin Andino-Negro del Peru

The rich diversity of musical traditions of Peru reflects its mixed indigenous, Spanish, and African heritages as well as the extremely varied geography of its territory.

Mr. J (a.k.a. Fuzzy) just submitted his creative challenge for fall colours. Thanks for the support Mr. J. Here is his piece:

News On My Car

First off, don't forget about the next creative challenge. You can find details here.

As some of you know, my car was stolen two weeks ago and I have been mass trans'ing it since then. It has been ok except when I go to work. A 40 minute drive turns into a 2 hour commute. God, I hate working further in Jersey. Well, I had a phone message after I left from church. It was the police department and they said that they have found my car. I called the police station and after being pass around like a ho at a sex buffet I was told that their computer systems are down and I will have to call tomorrow. Oh yeah, you know I was pleased with that. Now I have to take a day off from work and prolong getting my car back for another day. I really hope that their is no damage to it and hopefully they caught the a**holes that stole it.

By the way, this happened after my pastor said that we need to write down what we would like God to do for us in 2008. I wrote the following:

A spiritual revival
To find a GOOD job in the city
and God to have His way with my car situation.

Creative Challenge Submissions/New Creative Challenge

Here is my submission for the Fall Colors Creative Challenge.

New Creative Challenge:
Theme: Holiday Moments
Due Date: 1/3/08

Creative Challenge/ What's Going On With Me

Soldier sent hist submission for the last challenge and had just missed my posting. I don't want it to be missed so check it out here.

Creative Challenge
Subject: Anything dealing with fall colors
Deadline: 11/26 (Due to the holiday)

What's Going on With Me!!
I finally met a black man interested in me. Yes, we all thought it wasn't possible but lo and behold there is at least one. lol I was really starting to loose faith when I went out last weekend and the only guys that I met were an Aussie and an Irish guy. I thought, maybe I just need to accept my destiny. lol For those who don't know me, I am not prejudice it is just that I prefer black men. Don't get it twisted I have dated whites, and as of late latinos, before and may date them again. But It was just that I was wondering how am I carrying myself that I NEVER have any blacks approach me for relationships. Well I met this very creative and interesting guy at of all places, Chi Chi's. I was there on Karaoke night and met him. We have our first date tomorrow and I will have to keep you posted.

On a sadder note, my car was stolen today. Right around the corner from my apartment. It wasn't towed in any way but stolen. I am just over it. I am really hoping that they find it. It is really make it inconvient to get to my job and doing the other things that I have started doing since I picked up my car. This sucks!!!

Creative Challenge Submission

ShawnQt submitted this for favorite advertisement:

I love this ad because its just simple in design, color, & music, and it still portrays so much action and emotion!


Ty submitted this for favorite advertisement:
For my favorite advertisements, I had to choose "Heavenly Sword" first. I love this game. Primarily because of the graphics but also because of the story line.

Here are the commercials:

Here is the story line leading up to the game in order.

Creative Challenge For This Week:

Theme: Gum
Deadline: 11/16


Don't forget about the Creative Challenge. Click here for details


Well, to keep you guys updated with the guy I was dating, we are no longer together. It happened while we were going to a few Halloween parties. He became so jealous and possessive that he turned off most of my friends. He began telling everyone that we were boyfriends which was news to me. When I asked him last, he said that he enjoyed where we were as friends. He said things that offended people at the parties including my best friend. I was somewhat cool with that and willing to excuse it as he was drunk off of his ass. But what did it for me was on the way back to my place he begin to tell me that we were not compatible. WTF!!! I asked what do you mean? He said that he likes living his double lifestyle. He likes being closeted with his "friends" and for them not to know. I explained to him that is cool if that's what you want but that is not for me. I can't see myself voluntarily putting myself back in that bondage. So my question to him was, if you knew that, then why were you telling my friends tonight that we are boyfriends?!? Hell, there were some cute boys at one of the parties. I could have been working towards my next boyfriend. lol.

I wasn't going to blog about it and really won't touch it but would like to dedicate this to a couple of friends of mine who have decided to step away from each other. I honestly believe that (with what I know of the situation) that they will eventually get back together. Maybe it is just he romantic in me but I really do think they will. With that I dedicate this song to them from my favorite artist, Lalah Hathaway. Click here to launch.

Halloween Parade Pics/ Creative Challenge

Well, as promised, here are some of the pics from the Halloween Parade in NYC. I will be posting pics from a couple of parties later this week.

Creative Challenge
Well, this one is easy. Let's find our favorite advertisement. Then on your blog post the video, picture or whatever and state why it appeals to you. If you want to take it a bit further, you can create your own ad for that product using the same style. Reply to this blog with the link to your blog and I will create another post by next Saturday with all of the entries.

We Thought We Had Space Issues

Check Out My Co-worker's Blog
Nef's View Point


Well people, I have met someone. Things are still very early but I believe that he is truly interested. Of course, that is how it always starts out but time will tell. I am torn though, with a few things.

Number one: He is a smoker. He hasn't shown himself to be a chain smoker but will have one or two a day. I don't really notice the smell of cigarettes until we kiss. In case you don't know, I llllloooooovvvvveeee to kiss. So the smell of cancer-waiting-to-happen is a turn-off.

Number two: He is a bit closeted. He says that he doesn't really have too many gay friends. And his "straight" friends don't know about him. He is so bad that he didn't even want to meet up with me and some friends on Christopher street during day light hours. WTF!!! I will have to say that he did do it though but that is a major red flag to me. It is really confusing being that I think he is a total bottom. HUH?!? On top of that he is always babysitting his straight friend's baby.

Number three: I have REALLY been enjoying the single life lately.

Number four: Although he is latino, he seems to deplore anything latino. Sniff.... sniff.....sniff. I smell self-hatred.

Outside of these issues, he treats me with the utmost respect. We always have a good time when we are together. He is one of the few people who can make me laugh when I'm irritated. He goes out of his way to see me, hang out with me and, hallelujah, picks up the check frequently. I guess we will see what happens.

New Creative Challenge Ideas

This month's creative challenge will be "cool costumes". I changed it as I am so late posting this and for Halloween. You will have until November 3 to get your submissions to me.

Seeing that very many people are not participating in the Creative Challenges I have been thinking about revamping it. Here are a couple of ideas. Tell me what you think

Option 1 - What if I post a blog entry on Friday and people can creatively respond straight to that post. People can either respond, add pics, vids, find a pic on-line that they think fits the topic, etc. Everyone would have until the next Friday posting

Option 2 - The other way is to do a kind of pass the buck. I will post an image each week and everyone can download it and manipulate it in any way, or respond on the blog about the pic, sing a jingle, or whatever.

Of if you would like to see something else, let me know.
Volunteers Needed!!!
I am also looking for people to help me out with a piece that I am working on to bring awareness to domestic violence in same gender loving relationships. This is a public service project and there is not pay but will be nice in someone's portfolio.

I need people to shoot video, motion graphic people, graphic artists, actors (tastefully, partially nude parts), and musicians/vocalists.

If you do not fit into any of these categories but still would like to help, please let me know. There may be more than one project.

Overlooked and Overshadowed

I will apologize for the long post but have so much to say. On Sunday while riding in Edgewater I was instantly reminded of a childhood memory. I remember going to Chicago's Sears tower and I noticed another building to the east. It was beautiful and had so much detail to it. The tour guide saw me looking and told me that it was the Chicago Board of Trade Building. I remember the building regally showing its art deco style. At the very top is a status of Ceres, the goddess of grain and harvest. I guess it is between 20-50 feet and was created with painstakingly and precise detail. There is a clock with these gothic like figures that enthralled me. I remember wishing that I could leave and visit that building instead. I thought to myself that it was such a pity that this beautiful building was overshadowed by a building that, in my opinion, was only taller and not as beautifully detailed.

I don't know why this was on my mind but begin thinking how this represents life. So often many people with wonderful qualities are overlooked as people quickly pass to something newer or more trendy. In the music industry, you have artists that have honed their skills to near brilliance and do not get the respect that they deserve. Mostly because so many people will flock to who can gyrate the fastest or who has a slammin' beat but can't tell you a word to the song. There are movies that the writer/producers have taken time to massage their plots and story lines into fantastic, multi-layered films/videos. Yet, because they lack explosions or the new "it" movie star, are viewed by minimal audiences. You have people who take great care of not only their physical but their inner self and can not find partners. All because the fashion industry says that their look is "out" right now. There are singers with melodic and beautifully toned voices that are never heard because there is someone that is louder that sings over them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that those other artists, writers/producers and people should not be respected and prosper also but is it proportioned? Sometimes, no!

It kind of weighed heavy on my heart until I remembered a dream I had a few years ago. I was toiling about the same thing but with the people who work hard in the church. There are dedicated people who never receive a dime and then you have those who are paid handsomely and don't care or do much about/around the church. My dream opened up with me on a mountain and I was looking down at some of the diligent workers who were working in what looked like a dismal scene. They were walking around in the mud with their head hung and rain beating down on their heads. I looked to my left and there was Jesus. I asked him why would He allow this to happen and He told me to look again. I saw the same thing and asked Him twice more receiving the same response. The last time I looked and realized that the rain was sparkling. It was then that I realized that they were diamonds. It all became clear to me. They weren't drenching wet walking around in mud. They were so saturated in God's blessings pouring down from heaven that it even blessed the ground they were walking on. And they weren't walking with their heads down in shame but in worship for His goodness.

Anyway, for all those who feel overlooked and overshadowed, I hope you are encouraged. This is for you:

Fallen Art

Ok, my fourth posting this week. Anyway, not sure if I have put this up before but if not, here it is. Hope you enjoy. You have to watch it until the end and with sound.

Baginski - Fallen Art

Another Post

Yes I know it is my third post this week but have been meaning to upload some stuff before I forget.

This is a cellphone wallpaper that I created for one of my friends (Gabriel).

Here is a little video from Ambroses Salsa birthday party on Saturday night. Ambrose and Alejandro did a solo dance.

Here is a pic of my friend Gabriel after Ambrose's party before we realized that he really was drunk enough to strip in the middle of West Side Highway.

This is a pic of me and Ambrose. God I hate pictures of myself.


I saw this last night on a bumper for Adult Swim and lo and behold it is already on youtube. The part that I find funny are the pauses. The guy actually pushes pause on the cassette player. I asked some of my Indian friends to translate what the mother says at the end but it is southern Indian and they are northern. Maybe someone can shed some light. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Morning Thoughts

I don't know if it is from the lack of sleep or what, but this morning I had so many things on my mind. One thing that was on my mind is kind of a continuation from my Kama Yo post. The song, "Back To Life" was in my head and the part that says, "However do you want me. However do you need me. Tell me, maybe I can be that for you". This is kind of my attitude toward relationships right now. It sounds strange, but it is true. I am to a point where I don't care if you want us to be just friends, friends with benefits, boyfriend, monogamous lover, open-relationship lover, or my least favorite f*** buddy. I really just want to know from people where we honestly stand. It is what it is!!! The problem is that too many people don't know what they want but I won't even get started on that. That is another post. In my thinking, I was wondering whether I have evolved into a more enlightened or open-minded person towards relationships to accept whatever one may offer or have I just become so worn down by the constant failure of trying to find my lover for life?

The truth is, as of right now, I really don't know. I know I really long for a monogamous relationship but I also enjoy being single. I like being a little flirty sometimes. I like knowing that IF I want to hook up with someone, I can (although there isn't much of that going on right now). I enjoy being able to come and go as I please. I love my "me time". I like sleeping all over my bed and not worrying about someone being knocked off. lol But at the same time I want to grow with somone. I want to buy a house together, joint credit cards, two car garage, have the "me-and-you-against-the-world mentality". I want to long and ache for someone when they are not around. I want butterflies in my stomach when we get together. I don't want the sex that you have to try to impress someone with your acrobatical skills or your unique, porn-star like positions making sure they only see my good side and angles. I want the sex that all of that doesn't really matter, it may happen, but doesn't matter. Sex that is deeper than the physical. Where we feel comfotable to just be ourselves. Sex with contentment and love. Sex where their touch on my skin will superfluously remind me of their love and dedication. In our kisses we taste each other's full lips. The same lips that express true emotions, ideas, and can either cry aloud or speak sweetly of our love. I want to look into their eyes and see galaxies of wonderful moments. I want to know their scent and the very hint of it to fill me with ectasy beyond words. The warmth of their body close to me will first chill me then heighten my sense of touch so much so that without touching I can feel when they swallow, their breath, their heartbeat, and their sincerity.

Kama Yo

"Do you remember? Remember me, I was the one who said that love was blind?
And like a fool I ran to you whenever you would cry.
Take me back! That's what you said
I could never turn you away
Take me back, that's what you said,
and oh how a fool must pay.
Blue is the colour of pain.

Exactly how I'll never know how you manage to persuade
those in your life to buy your lines and see the world your way.
One more chance, that's all, you said.
I could never turn you away
One more chance!
The price that a fool must pay.
Blue is the colour of pain.

Only hope you'll never know this pain. It's such a shame.
Many tears have run dry. I've cried all I've left to cry.
But now it's time to break that hold her spell you thought up long ago.
I'll see you later, love, I really must be gone, this fool telling you goodbye."

These are the lyrics to a song that I heard when I realized that my first male lover was cheating on me. Although I knew that it was time to leave I just couldn't seem to find the strength or nerve. It was my first time having sex voluntarily so my emotions were out of sorts and not being able to talk to anyone about my boyfriend didn't help. Then I heard this song and, simple as it may be, it helped me through that period and gave me strength. The song is titled, "Blue(Is the colour of pain)" sung by Caron Wheeler. Many may know her from her days with Soul II Soul. She was featured on the "Back To Life" (view video) , and "Keep On Moving (view video) tracks. This song was from her first solo CD.

The video for Blue tantalized my creativity with its layers and multi linear narratives. One has to remember that this video was in the early 90's. For its time this video was ahead of its time. Each time I watched the video I would notice something different within its layers.

After being empowered by the song I anxiously went and purchased the CD. I was really surprised. The CD had several inspiring songs that help mold me into who I am today. That CD along with the sophomore CD made me take note that her love and Afro-centric conscience songs used a different vocabulary than what was being used at that time. She wasn't saying the basic, I love you, I would die for you and other cliches. She used terminology/phrases like I'm enchanted by you, I adore you, and in your eyes all seasons lie. One of my favorite love songs of all time is "In Our Love (listen) This inspired me to want to try to step outside of the box to express myself.

The song "No Regrets" made me realize that my life isn't over yet and to not waste time on regrets. I quit complaining about not going to college right after high school and realized that as long as I am still breathing that I can eliminate those regrets. This led me to my two degrees. That mentality has followed me through the years which gives me my zest for life and desire to want to experience as much as possible.

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Music Video Codes by VideoCure

To Buddy X

I have to say to my buddy X, this is for you for everything that you are going through with haters. Enjoy

Today's Thoughts

For the past few mornings a friend of mine and I have been having thought-provoking conversations on the way to work. Today we got on the subject of one of my ex's who seemed like he was looking for a suga-daddy. I am not trying to have that, I don't have enough for myself let alone someone else. I told my friend that my ex called me last night and wanted me to come over for .... a talk. lol Anyway my friend told me that I should hook up with him and (excuse me for a moment ) "f*** the hell out of him while calling him a bitch and spitting in his face". Of course I was a little taken back by this. My midwestern manners just won't let me. I'm a genteel hook up (lol). After questioning him on this behaviour I realized that in his culture (San Salvador) that people do that all of the time (according to him). It is done to hook ups that they have no feelings for and is accepted as normal. Now I know that some people here in the US like it rough. Someone to smack them around, pull their hair, then poke out on of their eyeballs and all of that kind of stuff. I just don't understand that. Why would you let someone do that to you in the bedroom when if it were someone on the street, they would be knocked down? Are there some deeper issues within the person that should be resolved? Is it just a preference like someone who likes threesomes? If you feel that you need to treat someone like that during sex, why not find someone that you appreciate better? I just chop it up to another one of those things that I don't understand.


One of my old co-workers from NYU emailed me and told me that she is about to graduate in December and wanted me to see one of her projects. I am so proud of her because she has been working her butt off trying to work full-time and go to school for the last few years but she has nearly made it. I really liked her project so I thought I would post it. (with her permission, of course). It is a visual narrative of Insomniac by Maya Angelou.

Thanks Jessica and Congratulations!

VMA Awards

Ok, I just can't resist. I normally wouldn't watch the VMA's, just as they have sucked the lsst 5 years or so but was with a friend who was excited to see it. Of all things he was excited to see Britney Spears(lmao). For those who haven't seen the performance, here you go:

She looked like either she just learned the dance steps right before the performance or like she was running through a rehearsal. I laughed my ass all the way through the performance. From the two steps in the beginning where she looked like she was going to fall on her face to 50 cent looking at her like wtf to Rihanna cracking up with her girl to the confused look of the people in the audience at the end. Did anyone notice the dancer who looked like Christian Vincent from Noah's Arc?

The highlight to me was Alicia Keys. Primarily because she seemed to be the only who actually sang and didn't lipsync the performance. Even though she was hoarse it was still refreshing still to hear someone singing live. Also the fact that she still performed while Kid Rock and Tommy Lee were fighting was admirable. I must admit it would have been funny for her to stop in the middle of the performance and yell, "Beat his ass Kid Rock!" but she was professional. If you missed it, well, here you go.

New CC Theme/This Month's Submissions

The Creative Challenge theme for the last CC was Lust. Since we started the seven deadly sins, I thought we would finish it.

New Theme: Gluttony
Due: 10/1/07

The other sins are greed,sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. Start pulling your ideas for these themes. By posting the next themes in advance hopefully we will have more than three submissions next time.

This is Fuzzy's submission. He is so faithful in entering something. Love ya.

Here is ShawnQT's submission. Nice video, you do your thang.

Here is my submission. Thanks to Derron for modeling. And best wishes in Africa.

It's Fall Again

As I walked out to my car to go to work on the other day, I realized that I felt a familiar tingling inside again. Before some of you go too far with it, it is a feeling of excitement. It dawned on me that we are entering fall which explains alot.

My first voluntary sexual experience was in the fall. It happened during the fall semester of my senior year in hight school. I was not only excited about graduation but started to grow into my body and started looking halfway like something. Started making friends and left my shy stage (somewhat).

Ever since then there is a type of nostalgic feeling that I receive around the fall. Most of my relationships develop or begin during the fall. I begin to look at people differently and begin to think about what they would be like in a relationship during the fall. My sexual desire heightens and I feel as if I am about to explode at all times. Even writing this post I am getting bumps on my arms. You would think that after so long that it would subside. Does anyone else have this experience with anything?

Funny Vids

Good Cop, Baby Cop
The Landlord

Creative Challenge

Just a reminder for those who are participating in the Creative Challenge that the due date is 9/3. The theme can be seen to the right in the column under my pic. Remember this can be anything for photos, writings, paintings, songs, etc.

I have also found a new way for everyone to get their files to me. You will have to be invited, so if interested respond to this post and I will shoot you the invite. You will also need a free adobe account. All of this info will be in the email but you can pre-register by going to www.adobe.com.

Will Work For ...

I debated whether to blog about this or not because I don't want any new readers to get the wrong idea about me, but then again, it is me.

Ok, here we go. As some of you already know, I will sometimes video porn for a friend of mine. When I say video, I mean just and ONLY that. I do it because money is money and I am a little bit of a freak. With that being said, it has sooo tainted me against porn. Porn no longer excites me the way it used to. Half the time I am just waiting for them to cum so I can go home.

Up until recently, it has been a pretty good setup especially since I really haven't had to be involved. The most that I have had to do is let some of the guys look at my ass while they .... take matters into their own hands. And believe me that was not easy; trying to video while shaking my ass. lol However, the last couple of times that I have gone to shoot the guys haven't really been interested in my friend and it was ... umm ... evident. They moreorless wouldn't even get hard unless I was close to them where they could feel my warmth or without me exposing myself. Last night I had to put down the cam and roll up my sleeves. Again, I will say NO SEX or ANYTHING that would give me any diseases but I worked hard to get the money shot. Now I think my friend is bitter about it. I hope he realizes that it isn't because I'm more attractive or sexier (if you see him, you will see that isn't the case), it is just because I am the enigma. They already know that they can see/have him when they get there. I am the challenge for them and we already know how some people really get off on the pursuit of the challenge. I've been trying to talk to him about it but he isn't answering my calls. I may have inadvertantly killed that supplement to my income.


Sorry for two posting today but wanted to get this out because of the date sensitivity.

"Style Reloaded"
9/01/07 8pm-12am
HK Lounge New York: 39th & 9av
(Fashion Week Kick Off Party)
RSVP at Stylereloaded@uneqmagazine.com by August 29th

*Open Bar Sponsored by p.i.n.k. vodka
*Special performance by Columbia recording artist Jesse O
Presented by Project Publicity

Fairgrounds IV Out At Night

Black? ... Latino? ... Blatino?

As of late I have been intrigued by an issue and although have my own thoughts about it, I was curious what others think.

For those who don't know, my biological dad is Dominican and my mom is Black (Geechee to be exact). I didn't grow up with my biological dad but with my step dad and mom. And I grew up under the Black influence. I have almost always lived in a mixed neighborhood (white/black) but my immediate family, church, and overall life experience was that of a Black male. When my dad tried to get me to learn Spanish, I really didn't see a need as I wouldn't be able to speak it with anyone. Yes, I grew up in Indianapolis, Latino population - 2% at that time. Of course it is different here where there are many Latinos.

Since moving here I have been trying to learn about the other side of me and the culture. It has been a wonderful experience and even therapeutic as in it I am learning to forgive my biological dad for some issues including abandonment.

What I am at war with internally is that I have noticed that when I tell Latinos, and especially Dominicans that I am half, they immediately say, "Oh, you're Latino' or "Oh, you're Dominican". I relate so much more with my Black roots that I feel a sense of abandonment to say that I am anything contrary. I also don't want to seem like some Blacks that think because they are mixed, that they are better than the rest. And God knows that I hate answering people with the, "I'm half Dominican and black" response when people ask. It makes me feel pretentious. But, at the same time, I also feel that if I don't acknowledge being Latino, am I abandoning my other heritage, however unfamiliar I am with it?

Dr. Visit Gone Wrong

Beyonce at Macy's

Come out and meet the diva herself this week!

Thursday August 16th

As the one and only Beyonce Knowles makes a personal appearance at MACY's 34th Street Herald Square to promote Emporio Armani new fragrance DIAMONDS!!!!

Don't miss out on this opportunity!!

Create Challenge Submission/ New Theme

Well, there was only one this time. Hell, I didn't even do one. But I know it is summertime and that more people become active during the fall/winter with the challenges. Anyway, thanks to Daniel (Fuzzy) for his submission:

"Honestly, I would have to say that I inspire me! There have been moments where I look at myself and I see so much potential that I would hate to see it wasted by not doing anything with it. When I paint myself I would paint an inspirer, motivator, optimist, survivor, overcomer, compassion, love, understanding, peace and a touch of serenity. I look at me and I see all of that. I name myself because if i would name someone else I would find a fault of some sort. It is extremely hard to change someone other than yourself. So if I find fault in me I can make an effort to change it and inspire myself the more!"

Daniel T. James inspires Daniel T. James
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Creative Challenge
The new theme for the Crative Challenge is "Lust" as suggested by Cathy Delaleu. The deadline will be 9/3/07. Let's get creative y'all.

Call for Submissions -- Keeping The Faith?

I received this in an email and thought it would be interesting for me and maybe others. If anyone is interested in collaborating, let me know.

To believe or not to believe, that is still the question. From faith to fatwas, rituals to rights, religion plays an increasingly important role in communities at home and throughout the world. This November, INTHEFRAY Magazine ( http://inthefray.org) will explore religion in contemporary society with a special issue dedicated to religious belief. We invite writers and artists to consider the ways that religion and faith impact our world for our November issue. Possible topics to explore include: the role of religion, whether it's in the 2008 U.S. Presidential election, education or international policy; the defense of atheism; the resurgence of creationism; the acceptance of Paganism as an official religion by institutions including the U.S. military. Who are the peacemakers using religion to unite rather than divide? How involved are evangelical Christians in the environmental movement? What goes into the decision by Muslim women whether or not to wear a hijab? Contributors interested in pitching relevant news features, poetry/fiction, cultural criticism, commentary pieces, personal essays, visual essays, travel stories, or book reviews should e-mail us at religion-at-inthefray-dot-org. Send us a well-developed, one-paragraph pitch for your proposed piece NO LATER THAN OCTOBER 1, 2007. First-time contributors are urged to review our submissions guidelines at http://submit.inthefray.org and review recent pieces published in INTHEFRAY at http://inthefray.org.

Creative Challenge

Sorry that I didn't get a theme posted earlier for the next CC. After talking to a few people, they thought the weekly/biweekly deadlines were too close as people have a life. LOL With that being said, the CC's will be for a month. I will try to post a new theme at the beginning of each month. We will give this a try and hopefully people will not forget before the deadline.

For those who are new to this, the CC is a way to sharpen your creativity skills without being judged. I will post a topic/theme for each month and you can use your creativity to design/make something along the theme. It can be anything including but not limited to a poem, song, artwork, writing, painting, graphic design, video, photography , and the list goes on but you get the point. Do not be afraid to push the boundaries of the theme. Also, if you have ideas for themes, please let me know. Again, this is not just for "professionals" or where anyone should feel like that work is inadequate, these is a place for free expression.

This months CC:

Theme: "the person who inspires you". This can be a significant other, relative, historical figure, entertainer, etc.

Deadline: 7/29/07

I'm Back..... Again (Part II)

Less than a week later, my leg swells up again. I called my physician
and he had me come right into his office for a look. He immediately
said that we were rushing to the hospital for surgery. I told him that
I needed to go home to pick up a few things and I would meet him there,
but really took some time and cried. I wassoooooo tired of being poked,
operated on, in the hospital for days on end for something that was
inflicted upon me. It was really hard, especially when the person who
did it is still living his life to the fullest.

Well after I arrived at the hospital, they rushed me right in to surgery but along the way the began asking me some unusual questions. They asked a lot about
my family health history and every answer that I gave seemed to make
them look more intense as if I said the wrong thing. Then, of course,
came the question about my HIV status. I told them the truth that I
have ALWAYS been healthy. Never any problems and that I have been HIV
negative but it was time for another test (my 6 months were up).

After spending Thursday - Saturday in the hospital, I really began wondering
what my tests would show. Even though I don't practice unsafe sex and
no medical problems historically, you never know. I worried so much
that I spent many restless nights up wondering if this is the moment.

long story short, they didn't find anything and released me on Monday. I am HIV negative since 6/18. My other blood work didn't show any other health problems and no
bacteria found in my leg. The physician thinks that after the hardware
was removed, there was still some bacteria that was left behind and
they antibiotics that they prescribed earlier just wasn't strong
enough. Also, that the yellow/red skin and toenail discoloration was
from the iodine that they used to clean out thebacteria.


Anyway, I will begin the "Creative Challenge" this week. I will post the theme by Friday so that everyone can begin working on it. It will proably have a deadline of the middle of July. I may also do another Pride scavenger hunt. I know that it may be slow for a while since I haven't posted in a while but I will call a few of you that I know are interested.

I'm Back..... Again

Well after yet another break, I'm back. I have been very busy with my new job, trying to get everything ready for the tradeshows and the new website. It has been crazy. On top of that, I have been having problems with my leg from my broken ankle incident.

For those who do not know, my ankle was broken in January 2006 as a result of domestic violence from one of my exs. I had a remarkable recovery and even from the incident, I felt no pain. I healed faster than many of the doctors expected and was walking when they thought I would just be coming out of stitches. So I have been blessed in that regard. However, about a month ago I noticed that I had some pain and unusual swelling. By the end of the day I was nauseated. Went in through the ER and found out that I had an infection. They kept me for a few days and sent me home on antibiotics.

About three weeks later, it happens again. Not as severe with pain but turned colors and swollen. So my doctor took out the hardware (screws and plates) that was placed in my leg with the initial operation. They said that my body started rejecting it. This is very unusual that it took over a year for my body to start rejecting it. But removing the hardware would fix the problem. After a few more days in the hospital, I was sent home with antibiotics. (to be continued tomorrow)

I'm Done With You

I know that this is a double post but is of significance in my life so I am posting anyway. LOL I did something that I probably shouldn't have done. A friend of mine had left his phone laying down and I had an idea that he may have been talking about me behind my back. I thought this because his demeanor has changed around me but couldn't think of any intrinsic reason why. After going through his sent messages, I found my suspicion to be true. I found this message, "There is such a strong dislike for ty that I can't even look at the thing." Yes, I know, right?!? I was blown. On top of that it was sent to PEOPLE that I don't know. The fact that he said my name leads me to believe that they have talked about me before. What is even worse is that it was unmerited. I haven't done ANYTHING to him. When we finally talked and I told him that I saw the message, we found out that it was sent because of a misunderstanding primarily on his part. I had asked him if he was going to a friends event and if so if he needed a ride since we come from the same way. He told me that he was going to just catch the bus. When it was time to leave I announced that I was about to leave and waited for a response from him but he didn't move or say anything so I left. But he wanted me to ask him again if he needed a ride. ?!? I told him that I had already asked and it was an open invitation for the whole event. He said that he didn't think that he should have to beg me for a ride. Long story short, we understood where each one was coming from. But I am so upset that instead of talking to me about it, he went and badmouthed me to all of these other people. Some of you can probably already figure out who I'm talking about but I am sooooo through with him and his shit. It is always something and have decided to exlude him from my life. I don't wish anything bad to or for him but when it is this complicated even as friends, it is time to move on.

New Job

As some of you already know, I have started a 9-5 job on 1/2. I embrace it with mixed emotions. I have really become use to the freelance hours and working when I want as opposed to "you better be there by....". I love the fact that it is a steady check with benefits... OOOOOO child, benefits! Sorry, just had a Madea moment. I am kind of displaced because it is all the way in Parsippany, NJ. It takes me about 45 minutes of driving to get there. The commute itself really isn't that bad but it is the fact that I am going away from the city. I love the city and know the city a hell of a lot better than Jersey. So when I want to do something after work, I must drive the 45 min. just to get back to my place and then however long it takes to get through the tunnels at that time of rush hour. Thursday, it took me 2.5 hours to get from my job to Queens with the fastest part of the journey going across town in Manhattan. So of course that discourages me from wanting to do anything in the city after work.

It also makes it hard when considering a new apartment. I am crossed between whether I should just become the normal Jersey resident and try to live and play here as much as possible. The problem with that is I don't know a lot of people here and I spend a lot of time on the weekends with my friends in Queens. The option is to get a place in Manhattan and deal with a lengthy commute so that I can be more central. More to come on that.


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