Fuzzy's B-Day Bash/Fighting Sides/Update

Fuzzy's B-Day Bash


Fighting Sides
Ok, sorry that it took me so long to post this topic but had to think about how to word everything. For those who read the "Wanderlust" post. Here are the words to the song. This will better lead into my post.

"I am leaving this harbour,
giving urban a farewell.
Its habitants seem too keen on God
I cannot stomach their rights and wrong.
I have lost my origin,
and I don't want to find it again
Rather sailing into nature's laws
and be held by ocean's paws

Wanderlust!
relentlessly craving
Wanderlust—
peel off the layers until you get to the core.
Did i imagine it would be like this?
Was it something like this i wished for,
or will i want more?

Lust for comfort suffocates the soul
this relentless, restlessness
liberates me.
I feel at home whenever
the unknown surrounds me.
I receive its embrace
aboard my floating home.

Wanderlust!
Relentlessy craving wanderlust.
Peel off the layers until you get to the cor.e
Did I imagine it would be like this?
Was it something like this I wished for,
or will I want more?

Wanderlust!
From island to island.
Wanderlust!
United in movement.
Wonderful.
I enjoy it with you
Wanderlust!

Can you spot a pattern?
Relentlessy restless
Restless relentlessy
Restless relentlessy
Restless relentlessy "

Anyway I have been feeling very torn lately between who I view myself as and who I really am and who I want to be. Specifically, am I ready for a relationship now? After my roommate left and I started living alone for the first time in over 10 years (caring for my grandmother /relationship/grad school roommate). I also seemed to have had a change of heart regarding relationships. Prior to him leaving, I wanted one so bad that I could hardly stand it. Now, I am not sure what I want. I'm not sure if it is because my life has had a couple of huge changes so fast and my emotions/mind hasn't totally absorbed it or what. All of this comes at the strangest time to me. I have had so many people express interest lately that it just makes me want to yell, "Where were all of you when I was looking". lol

As of late, I have been .... exploring my freak side in more ways than one. Although that phase is becoming old, I still like being able to do whateva I want, wheneva I want and howeva I want. At the same time I wander if that is really me or just someone that I want to be maybe even temporarily. Sometimes I become shy about it because I wonder how others will view me with some of the things that I am doing. Then I’m wondering if this is just a phase. I feel so pre and/or adolescent, wondering what my peers may think.

Update
So on to what’s new. I went to Edwin's B-Day bash a couple of weeks ago and I carried on. I was very .... friendly that night. Despite all of that, there was a guy (Roberto) who expressed interest. There were others too but Roberto seemed to be the most sincere. I gave him my number thinking that he would be like most people and forget who I am when they sober up but to my surprise, he called. So last weekend, he wanted to come in town. So I gathered some friends together and we hung out on Sunday going to the GLBT Expo at the Javits Center, Brunch and Dinner. A full day of fun but I realized that he was becoming VERY attached. Then at dinner he tells us that he has only messed with one other guy. All of my friends got twinkles in their eyes but I just became concerned. Then I found out that I got his age mixed up in translation and thought he said 35 but he is only 25. But the fire was on when we got back to my apartment. He evidently had been waiting a long time and it showed. Anyway, we'll see what happens with him. I will keep you informed but for now here are some pics/vids.


I just couldn't refuse this. Sorry for it being sideways. This is Roberto, God bless his heart.