Near Speechless

As some of you may remember, I posted about a panel discussion that took place on Friday night called "No Jimmies Allowed". I went expecting to hear and discuss the phenomena of unsafe sex parties. When I left, I have to admit, I was very disturbed.

The panel included Lidell Jackson (Founder/Host Jacks of Color), Don Kao (Director, Project Reach) and M. Tokes Osubu (Executive Directory GMAD - Gay Men of African Descent). The discussion started off with introductions from each one of them and then quickly turned to an event that you may have heard about. Evidently there was a unsafe sex party planned a few months ago in which the flyer stated that no jimmies would be allowed. On top of that, anyone caught using one or trying to practice safe sex would be asked to leave WITHOUT a refund. Upon receiving this unsolicited email, Osubu quickly brought it to the public's attention that this type of behavior is still going on. He even picketed outside the location of the party on the day of. After this was stated, the backlash was unreal. Every comment and the overall consensus were against Osubu's actions.

Some stated that it was not his right to publicize the "going's on" at the party by picketing outside. That if anyone was attending that party, then they were part of the consenting adults who chose to attend. People are well informed about the spread of HIV/AIDS and can decide for themselves whether or not to engage. Osubu is acting in the manner of religion today by wanting to scare everyone into safe sex. That the organizers were just trying to provide a place, for people who engage in this type of behaviour behind close doors, to meet and experience other like-minded individuals.

Granted, I agree with them in saying that consenting adults should be allowed to make their own decisions and live their lives. If someone didn't agree with my sexual behaviour, I wouldn't want for them to go to that extreme to stop me. After all, it was printed on the flyer what was going on. However, my head was filled with concerns about that mentality.

When I was 18, maybe even older, I was considered grown but due to my immaturity I engaged in some unsafe behaviours. Primarily because I was naive enough to think that if people who are older than I are doing it, it must be ok. Thank God that I matured and began taking responsibility before too late. With that said, are young, trusting, naive people going to this parties never to be the same again? Paying for that one mistake for the rest of their life. Are they checking ID at these parties to ensure that the attendees are of proper age? Are they explaining to people the risk that they are taking before entering? Why are they not only banning safe sex but penalizing you for it also? What about those who are mid-aged but mentally (for whatever reason) are not capable of understanding the risk that they are taking? Should African-American and Latinos be more concerned with the spread of HIV/AIDS since we are more disproportionately infected? Should we have more extreme measures for prevention? Should we allow this to go on unchallenged?

I guess that most disturbing part of all this is that the panel and everyone who commented mentioned that they are HIV+. What do you think?

KnowHIVAIDS: website *** pamphlet


Bougie Black Boy August 08, 2006 6:11 AM  

Promoting unsafe sex in group settings equates promoting low self-esteem, self-indulgence, and the deprecation of the human race as a whole.

However, as adults, we can't blame anyone, but ourselves (in most cases) for our own wanton behavior. As such, with the Bring Your Own Condom (BYOC) theory, you seemingly take control of your status by not accepting less than what you are worth. We can only hold our own selves accountable for our actions.

mytruth August 13, 2006 2:07 PM  

I can't believe stuff like this actually happens in this day in age.

That Dude Right There August 14, 2006 9:53 AM  

Why are people attending sex parties? That's what I don't understand!

~HoustonNY~ August 14, 2006 12:10 PM  

I remember when they picketed this thing. I was happening around 145th Street. There was some other big event going on that night also. I was shocked as hell when I heard that they are actually having an UN-safe sex party. Bad enough that they are having a sex party, but to not use protection....

I am the first to admit that I agree with you when you say that consenting adults should be able to choose rather to use protection or not. You take the risk you live with the consequences. My thing is this --- with all of the information and crap that you can catch by not protecting yourself, WHY would you want to do it? For the feeling??? If it is worth your life, then there is nothing further to say. However when you catch something, then we won't have to say the cliche' "I told you so...."

Anonymous August 24, 2006 12:48 PM  

I am very tired of hearing people say that it is the fault of "society" of the spread of HIV/AIDS in the black community when all evidence point to gay men, (All races) is the perpetuating cause and the epicenter of this epidemic.

Yet you want to institute safety, education and tolerance....get real.

Ty August 24, 2006 1:42 PM  

@ the captain
Wow! There really are some ignorant people out there regarding AIDS. Before you post, you should do some research. There are way too many documented cased where heterosexuals had symptoms that resemble HIV/AIDs but were diagnosed with it because of their reputation and because it was only seen as a "gay" disease. That is one of the reasons why the CDC says that the number of heterosexuals who have or have died from complication due to AIDs is GREATLY underestimated. That is real my friend.

Delaleuverses September 14, 2006 7:09 AM  

Hmmmmmmmmm...this here is a touchy subject but I feel that whether you're gay or not it affects anyone. I recalled back in the 80's how people pointed the fingers at Haitians, remember that? How we are the ones who bought the Aids epidemic here in the U.S. and we were discriminated all the time. It was hard for us in school and in the streets. People always look for someone to blame, so sad. We need to find solutions instead of playing the blame game.