Ok, sorry it took so long to post something but after the double deaths in the family, it has been crazy. On my way back to Indy, I had time to reflect on when my mom, uncles, grandparents, etc were alive while I was growing up. I remember it was like the Cosby show. There was all of the love that I could have ever wanted in just those few people. Even throughout the bad times, the love was more than evident. I often brag about being blessed with having my great-great grandmothers living until I was in high school and both sets of my great-grandparents were alive to see me graduate from high school. All of them passing their wisdom down to me. The long talks, how they could explain the world to me and teach me how to be a better person. I have to admit my life has been a pretty photograph overall.
I really didn't realized how much I missed my family until I went back. This time is was very evident that they missed me too. I could see in the younger one's eyes and hear in their voice that they are looking for me to be what my mom, uncle, and grandmother were to me when I was growing up. They want me to be that pillar in the family. The one that keeps everyone together. The one that keeps everyone sane. The confidant, the listening ear, the open heart, the one that just understands.
I was at the funeral and really just thought how bitter-sweet this experience was for me. Even with all of the happiness of seeing each other after so long, there was also a blinding light. For the first time, I could notice the fear, feel their lost of drive, smell the realization of their mortality in each of the older generation's very being. I could read in their eyes as they looked at each other, "Who's next?"
For the first time I see the frame that exists before the photograph.
The Frame That Exists Before the Photograph
Missed Question/Family Drama/Would You Want To Know?/Just For Laughs
Missed Question
Thanks for all of the birthday wishes. It really made me feel nice. There was a question from the last post that wasn't answered, so I will answer it now. Cathy (Lyrically speaking) asked, "My question to you is Where do you see yourself in ten years?"
I see myself with the following:
In my own house
In a steady relationship
Having at least two shows a year
Debt free (including student loans)
D/D free
Being a better friend
Living quite comfortably (financially)
Giving back more to the community
Family Drama
I am trying not to make this a long or sad post but just for an update in my life. One of my favorite uncles passed on Sunday. He had a stroke and was in the house a couple of days before anyone noticed to check on him. Which is not to blame anyone because he was kind of to himself sometimes. Then I found out yesterday morning at work that my grandfather in CA passed. I don't like to show emotion at work but I totally lost it.
Now my uncle was on my mom's side and my grandfather is on my dad's side and the funerals are on the same day. One in Indy and the other, of course, in CA. I feel really torn as to which I should attend. Especially since my mom's side of the family kind of disowned my dad after he remarried so soon after my mom's death. I know if I attend my grandfather's, there will be so much hell to pay but at the same time I really want to support my dad during his time of loss. Family drama is so frustrating.
Would You Want To Know?
I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with a friend over this past weekend. If you haven't seen it, I won't go too far into it but it is worth seeing. And if you are going to see it, don't continue reading. lol Anyway, it leads to some thought-provoking questions that I wonder how you would answer. So sound off:
If you could totally erase the memories of someone that you once loved who has broken your heart, would you?
While you are yet falling in love with someone, you both found a note from the future. In the note, it describes everything that you hate about that other person explaining why you guys break up. Would you continue seeing that person?
Just For Laughs
My 100th and Birthday Post
That's right, today is my birthday. I thought I would feel depressed but I feel good in my soul. Yay, Happy Birthday to me.
Preguntas
In my last post, I stated that I would answer questions that anyone had for me in celebration of my 100th post. I have only received two and they are:
1) "Where's your favorite place to go to have fun?"
I can't really say that there is one place that I go to have fun. It all depends on my mood. If I am feeling stressed, I will go salsa dancing out in Queens or just go out to a club. Sometimes it is ALL about staying home and watching a movie and being lazy. I also enjoy just hanging out with friends. I can just go to a friends house and chill doing nothing. And of course, I love creative and cultural events of all types. In other words, if I think that I will like it, I'm on my way. lol
2) If you had a choice to be straight, would you?
This is a good one. I really would have to say that it would have depended on when I was asked. If I were asked before I was comfortable with my sexuality, then I would have quickly taken the offer. But now, I honestly have to say that I don't know. My gut tells me that I would eventually say no and accept what God has given me.
Disco Diva Meets Bohemian Beauty
I went to my friend's, Marco Hall, Fashion Show on yesterday and really have to say that I was blown away. You know how people tell you that they do something and you underestimate them? Well that was me on last night. He invited me to his show and I'm thinking like a church fashion show but what I received was this:
I have to say, "Congratulations Marco!!! I am soooo proud of you!!!". The venue was excellently chosen, the music was driven and the clothes were fantastic. Thank you for the invite and the inspiration.
Preguntas?/Gallery Tour
Preguntas
Well, I am almost there guys. My next post will be my 100th. Seems like it took me forever. I guess it doesn't help when I do double/triple posts in one. lol Anyway, I am going to take people's questions and answer them in my next post. So go ahead and post any questions that you have for me here and my next post will answer them, as long as they are in good taste. lol Well, maybe some of those too.
Gallery Tour I also attended another gallery tour in Chelsea and this one was not as exciting until we got to the end. My favorites were, coincidentally, African and African-American.
This African artist used the metal from around liquor bottles and made these pieces. You can see the scale of them by the people standing next to them. There were three huge rooms foold of these pieces. Each one started at $250,000 and the gallery sold out in less than two hours after opening. Viva Africano.
The African-American artist used those posters that you see all around town promoting everyting from movies to new CD's. He would rip some of them down and then past them in this 2D 1/2 pieces. They actually look like maps from a distance but are nothing other than paper that made look that way.
Here are some of the other pieces. Some of these are videos, if blogger will act right for me today.
Scents/My Weekend/ The Future?!?
Scents
I hope that this doesn't sound weird to most of you but I just had to blog about it. Have you ever paid attention to a person's personal scent? I don't mean their funk but just the natural smell of a person. For some reason, I am very keen on picking the scent up of those who are close to me. It has done everything from giving me a loving and warm feeling all the way to where it just excites me almost to orgasm. I still can't smell Halston to this day without ... well, let's just say my first voluntary experience with a man was a guy who wore Halston.
Of course, each one of my family members smell is like plastered in my head even though we are miles apart. After my mom passed, I took parts of her clothing which had her scent on it and brought it home with me and placed it in this cabinet that is very air tight. Every now and again, I pull it out and smell it, reminisce, and cry a little. Well, my old roommate is moving out and while cleaning, I decided to take a moment to smell the cloth. That's when I realized how faint her smell is on the cloth and took me a while to catch it. My heart felt as if it was going to explode. I know that it will eventually lose its smell and am actually surprised that it has lasted this long but it still hurts.
This Weekend
On a lighter note, I love my Christmas gift to myself which is this Sony Cybershot camera. I have a higher end camera that works great but is not small enough for just a night on the town and/or carrying for those spontaneous shots. Anyway, here are more vids/pic, these are from this past weekend.
Here is the birthday girl (the one with the Coronna in her hand). She is almost 70 years old guys.
Here is Guadalupe representing for the big gurls. I love she. lol
The Future Is Now!?!
As some of you already know, NYC is instituting new pay public toilets. That's right, you have to pay to pee. No more pee for free. I thought this pic in the NY Times is hilarious. These people are so proud of themselves.
Creative Challenge/Dating Disasters
Creative Challenge
The next creative challenge will focus on your resolutions/goals for 2008. Remember, your submissions can be anything from photos to songs to graphics. As longs as it ties into your idea for the theme.
Theme: Resolutions/Goals for 2008
Due: 2/1/08
Dating Disasters
Let me start off by saying that this is not a sad post. As some of you will testify, dating as a gay/bi/transgendered/transfigured (lol) etc makes for some horrible dating situations. Everything from people who still aren't comfortable with their sexuality having you jump out of windows from the fourth floor, naked to avoid being seen by their friends and neighbors. To those who are very comfortable with their sexuality having you jump out of windows from the fourth floor, naked to avoid their lover that they neglected to tell you about.
Well, I have been talking with a straight co-worker of mine who has been telling me about her life and dating. After listening to her for a while, I realized that breeders have their own issues and dating. Now, I have to admit, some of this was funny to me, actually both of us. She told me about this internet date where they were to meet for coffee. She was standing outside and saw the guy pull in. He pulled up to the curb and looked at her and drove right back out of the strip mall. The shade is that before she could get home, he had blocked her on the site. She then began telling me about how one guy had the nerve to tell her that she needed to do something about a little fat that is on her belly. Trust you me, she is by no means humongous. The shade is that the guy was under 5' 8" and was over 230 lbs and balding.
I began thinking about my worst date. I instantly knew that it was when I had met this guy back in Indiana when I was 19 years old. He lived out of town and invited me up. I wasn't going alone so I brought my half-brother (yes he was gay too) who was set up on a date by my date. We get there and it was ok until we got back to his place. My brother and I were thinking we were alone as double dates there until we heard noise upstairs. It was mine and and my brother's date sons upstairs playing together. Mind you we were just making out downstairs (not sex but close).
Then we go into the kitchen when I hear someone coming up from the garage. It was my date's wife. Oh yes, and she knew me by face, name and said that she knew I was here because my car was parked out front. That's right, that was my first time seeing or even knowing anything about her and she knew all of that about me. U-N-C-O-M-F-O-R-T-A-B-L-E!!!
So sound off, what was your worst dating disaster.
For those who like the original version of the song, here you go
Creative Challenge Submissions
Here are the submissions for the holidays creative challenge. Daniel (Fuzzy) submitted: 
My submissions are (including my holiday card) :
Happy Holidays
Creative Challenge Reminder
Don't forget about the "Holiday Moments" creative challenge. The deadline is 1/3/08. The picture above is one of my submissions. Remember, anything goes. It can be cellphone or camera pics to graphics, songs (Omar), poems, writings, etc. Now I know that most of you have a few days off, so there is no excuse. lol
Angels In a Winterwonderland Ball
This is from the Angels In a Winterwonderland Ball on Sunday hosted by my church (Rehoboth Temple). My church has been doing a lot of work with gay youth who have been ostracized from their family. This particular group live in a kind of shelter house that requires them to attend classes in business and other areas. So for the holidays they wanted to have a ball and we let them use the space. It was actually quite nice.
Anyway, I have to say I don't know why but I really like Berlin (the one with the crazy hair) in this video but I do. BTW, she won this category of Best Runway Walk. See if anyone can catch the shade. LOL But she handles it well. More videos are coming.
My Saturday (Pt II)
I almost forgot to mention another highlight of my Saturday. I made it out to go see Dirty Laundry. The film was written and directed by Maurice Jamal and stars Loretta Devine, Rockmond Dunbar, Jenifer Lewis, Terri J. Vaughn, Sommore and many others in this hilarious family drama. You can read more about it .here.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and am glad to see more and more mainstream actors/actresses not afraid to play in gay/gay-friendly roles. I am evern more glad to see so many gospel artists that are playing in these movies. I wonder if there will be a big coming out of the closet for some many of the big gospel artists? And no, I don't mean come out just to try to bash the lifestyle, trying to save face and money. (Did I say Donnie out loud?!? Oh, I didn't .... well!!!
Anyway, let's go and support this movie and make sure that it doesn't leave the theatre too soon
My Saturday
Before I forget, don't forget about the next creative challenge. You can find details here. Now onto my Saturday events.
Let me start off by saying that Luis came over on Friday night and stayed over. Yeah, I know... everyone is like "Wasn't he the one looking for someone to take care of him?" Yeah, but I still think of him as a friend and he is a cool person. I just ain't supporting him. Don't judge me!!! lol Well, Saturday we woke up early and went to have coffee and danishes. He had NEVER even heard of Starbucks. I thought they were everywhere now, including Honduras. Oh well. 
Then we went to a drawing session at the LGBT Center. I have been attending for the last few weeks and thoroughly enjoy it. It is a great creative break. I don't pretend to be a great fine artist but just enjoy it and Luis enjoyed it as well. Here is one of my better drawings from that day. Don't laugh, I am still learning.
If anyone is interested it is $10/wk and runs every Saturday from 10 a.m. until 1 p.m. Yes, there are nude models for you bashful types but it is done in good taste.
Afterwards Luis had to go to work and I went to the Chelsea Art Tour. This event is held once a month and your paid admission ($15) gives you access to several Chelsea Art galleries and a guide who highlights notable pieces. Sometimes you even stumble on the artist there at the gallery to have a little discourse. I usually go to the LGBT one but went to the "Best Of" this time, which is pretty much the same just without a focus on the LGBT artists. I have to say that every time that I go, I usually find one or two pieces that just blow me away. I will start with that one. 
I don't remember the name to this piece but I loved how just the anticipation to visualation process of this piece. As you can see from the pics that it is an installation piece. It takes up a huge area of around 30 X 30. How you walked upon the piece is from another room and 
all that you saw were little lines of color on the ceiling. As you followed them around, you came into this space as seen in the pictures. You can't see from the pics but it is made up of thousands of little plastic men that make up a tornado. Where the tornado touches 
the ground is one single plastic man.
I like this tour because open up the floor for what each groups gets from the piece. My group came up with two. One is that one man can make a change that ripples throughout the world. The other is that we all came from one man and have developed into many different cultures, races, etc as seen by the different color plastic men towards the top of the tornado.
The piece with the waterfall, towards the bottom, had the most controversy. I thought that was weird considering the next set that I will talk about. People were highly disturbed by this piece because all that the artist did was search the internet and "appropriate" other people's pictures and blow them up to about 6-8 feet tall, making them all pixelated and is charging thousands of dollars for each piece. Hmmm, I am in the wrong field. What do you think?
The bright pics that are very cartoon-ish was the next set that caused a ruckus. The white blotches that you see common throughout this set looks very much like sperm. As you can see from some of the pics that it is going into some of the guys mouth and they are playing in it and couples are having sex. Yeah, I said having sex, see if you can find them. This is all while the world is in chaos and destruction. The group's thoughts were that we live in a time where death and disease are so rampant but yet, life, love and a sense of being care-free still continues.
Ok, so that this post won't be too long, I have posted all of the pics in case people just want to see them. Mind you, the pics don't do any justice to the pieces. 
Brilliant?!? Y Violin Andino-Negro del Peru
The rich diversity of musical traditions of Peru reflects its mixed indigenous, Spanish, and African heritages as well as the extremely varied geography of its territory.
Mr. J (a.k.a. Fuzzy) just submitted his creative challenge for fall colours. Thanks for the support Mr. J. Here is his piece:
News On My Car
First off, don't forget about the next creative challenge. You can find details here.
As some of you know, my car was stolen two weeks ago and I have been mass trans'ing it since then. It has been ok except when I go to work. A 40 minute drive turns into a 2 hour commute. God, I hate working further in Jersey. Well, I had a phone message after I left from church. It was the police department and they said that they have found my car. I called the police station and after being pass around like a ho at a sex buffet I was told that their computer systems are down and I will have to call tomorrow. Oh yeah, you know I was pleased with that. Now I have to take a day off from work and prolong getting my car back for another day. I really hope that their is no damage to it and hopefully they caught the a**holes that stole it.
By the way, this happened after my pastor said that we need to write down what we would like God to do for us in 2008. I wrote the following:
A spiritual revival
To find a GOOD job in the city
and God to have His way with my car situation.
Creative Challenge Submissions/New Creative Challenge
Here is my submission for the Fall Colors Creative Challenge.
New Creative Challenge:
Theme: Holiday Moments
Due Date: 1/3/08
Creative Challenge/ What's Going On With Me
Soldier sent hist submission for the last challenge and had just missed my posting. I don't want it to be missed so check it out here.
Creative Challenge
Subject: Anything dealing with fall colors
Deadline: 11/26 (Due to the holiday)
What's Going on With Me!!
I finally met a black man interested in me. Yes, we all thought it wasn't possible but lo and behold there is at least one. lol I was really starting to loose faith when I went out last weekend and the only guys that I met were an Aussie and an Irish guy. I thought, maybe I just need to accept my destiny. lol For those who don't know me, I am not prejudice it is just that I prefer black men. Don't get it twisted I have dated whites, and as of late latinos, before and may date them again. But It was just that I was wondering how am I carrying myself that I NEVER have any blacks approach me for relationships. Well I met this very creative and interesting guy at of all places, Chi Chi's. I was there on Karaoke night and met him. We have our first date tomorrow and I will have to keep you posted.
On a sadder note, my car was stolen today. Right around the corner from my apartment. It wasn't towed in any way but stolen. I am just over it. I am really hoping that they find it. It is really make it inconvient to get to my job and doing the other things that I have started doing since I picked up my car. This sucks!!!
Creative Challenge Submission
ShawnQt submitted this for favorite advertisement:
I love this ad because its just simple in design, color, & music, and it still portrays so much action and emotion!
_________________________________
Ty submitted this for favorite advertisement:
For my favorite advertisements, I had to choose "Heavenly Sword" first. I love this game. Primarily because of the graphics but also because of the story line.
Here are the commercials:
Here is the story line leading up to the game in order.
Creative Challenge For This Week:
Theme: Gum
Deadline: 11/16
Update
First:
Don't forget about the Creative Challenge. Click here for details
Second:
Well, to keep you guys updated with the guy I was dating, we are no longer together. It happened while we were going to a few Halloween parties. He became so jealous and possessive that he turned off most of my friends. He began telling everyone that we were boyfriends which was news to me. When I asked him last, he said that he enjoyed where we were as friends. He said things that offended people at the parties including my best friend. I was somewhat cool with that and willing to excuse it as he was drunk off of his ass. But what did it for me was on the way back to my place he begin to tell me that we were not compatible. WTF!!! I asked what do you mean? He said that he likes living his double lifestyle. He likes being closeted with his "friends" and for them not to know. I explained to him that is cool if that's what you want but that is not for me. I can't see myself voluntarily putting myself back in that bondage. So my question to him was, if you knew that, then why were you telling my friends tonight that we are boyfriends?!? Hell, there were some cute boys at one of the parties. I could have been working towards my next boyfriend. lol.
Third:
I wasn't going to blog about it and really won't touch it but would like to dedicate this to a couple of friends of mine who have decided to step away from each other. I honestly believe that (with what I know of the situation) that they will eventually get back together. Maybe it is just he romantic in me but I really do think they will. With that I dedicate this song to them from my favorite artist, Lalah Hathaway. Click here to launch.
Halloween Parade Pics/ Creative Challenge
Well, as promised, here are some of the pics from the Halloween Parade in NYC. I will be posting pics from a couple of parties later this week.
Creative Challenge
Well, this one is easy. Let's find our favorite advertisement. Then on your blog post the video, picture or whatever and state why it appeals to you. If you want to take it a bit further, you can create your own ad for that product using the same style. Reply to this blog with the link to your blog and I will create another post by next Saturday with all of the entries.
Torn
Well people, I have met someone. Things are still very early but I believe that he is truly interested. Of course, that is how it always starts out but time will tell. I am torn though, with a few things.
Number one: He is a smoker. He hasn't shown himself to be a chain smoker but will have one or two a day. I don't really notice the smell of cigarettes until we kiss. In case you don't know, I llllloooooovvvvveeee to kiss. So the smell of cancer-waiting-to-happen is a turn-off.
Number two: He is a bit closeted. He says that he doesn't really have too many gay friends. And his "straight" friends don't know about him. He is so bad that he didn't even want to meet up with me and some friends on Christopher street during day light hours. WTF!!! I will have to say that he did do it though but that is a major red flag to me. It is really confusing being that I think he is a total bottom. HUH?!? On top of that he is always babysitting his straight friend's baby.
Number three: I have REALLY been enjoying the single life lately.
Number four: Although he is latino, he seems to deplore anything latino. Sniff.... sniff.....sniff. I smell self-hatred.
Outside of these issues, he treats me with the utmost respect. We always have a good time when we are together. He is one of the few people who can make me laugh when I'm irritated. He goes out of his way to see me, hang out with me and, hallelujah, picks up the check frequently. I guess we will see what happens.
