Six Flags Trip
Last Friday was "gay day" at Six Flags great adventure from 6 p.m. to midnight. I took off a couple hours early from work and picked up some friends in JC to head down.
If you don't know, I am a true rider. I know some of your minds went dirty for a minute but I love roller coasters. LOL My first thought was that we weren't going to be able to ride everything. I mean, we went earlier this year and even with the speed-pass was barely able to get on most of the big rides and was there all day. However, to my surprise, the park was basically empty. I'll put it to you this way, we walked straight up and jumped on the Kingda Ka..... twice. We rode pretty much everything twice and left before the park closed. I didn't think that I could have so much fun. Even though Kendra got sick on us. LOL
While in line for El Torro, we saw Benny Ninja. I was able to talk to him for a minute and he was cool. I was surprised that he stopped to talk especially after seeing him frown at someone trying to take a picture of him. But I guess it was just the moment because he was cool with me.
Purple St. James
Why am I living for Yahzarah AKA Purple St. James. I think this performance and leaked music video may give you some insight to why.
Love Deferred or Phoenix Rising?
There are so many things that I can say about the VMAs and Kanye West's totally inappropriate behaviour and Beyonce's gracious endeavour. However, I am sure that everyone has heard enough about that. So I will digress and talk about something a little more personal.
When I went to Atlanta in July for the conference I was in a very strange state. If you follow my blog, you may remember the Whitney vs Melonie Daniels (revisited) post that gave a little insight about what was going on. I try not to vent too much information about friends and loved ones here regardless of the situation. But just know that I felt as if I was done wrong in a situation with some friends who have since apologized. In Atlanta I was kind of still dealing with it but in the midst of all of that, I met this guy who intrigued me unto infatuation.
We exchanged numbers but as things go, we really didn't stay in contact too much. We had brief conversations here and there but nothing serious. Well, a couple of weeks ago he called again and the tone was much different. Let's just say that we went 0 to 60 in no time. I thoroughly enjoy him. His aura, disposition, manners, talk, and essence allures me. It really has me wondering if this is the one. And am actually catching feelings for him and he says the same about me.
I even started writing this piece;
"I was in the blinding fog trying to figure out who are my real friends and loved ones. Not quite inured to the betrayal that I felt, I made my way finding each silhouette. Gazing upon their countenance to discern if they be intrinsic friend or foe. But there was one silhouette that did not seem to belong. I could neither decipher this person's reasoning for being there nor their role. But as the white fog lifted revealing the truth, there you stood.... "
Yeah, I know. People say that I fall way too fast. Well, on Saturday we talked for a minute but started really talking about the distance thing. I knew it was bound to come up, it had to. I take it, from our conversation, that he is having second thoughts about falling for someone so far away. ATL from here is more than a notion, baby, to think about just jumping on the road. If it was like 4 hours, then we could see each other several weekends a month but being 16 hours away.... well... The tone in his voice was a little defeated. And I can't say that I blame him or fault him. I was kind of feeling the same way myself. Now we are at this fork in the road and am not sure what to think about it.
Flashback Moment
I heard this song the other day and it took me back. My favorite memory of this song is when my mom and grandmother thought that they were singing "Men-o-pause" instead of "Men-All-Pause" and did everything short of picketing the song. They would go through everytime the song would come on. It was nearly a year later when we found out what their disgust was in the song and after we cleared it up for them, they feel in love with it. But it is so funny to watch the video and imagine if they were singing Menopause instead and you can see why they were disgusted.
How about this one? God, I can't believe that I was so into these songs.
Homecoming 2009
For those in the NYC area, if you have no plans, please come to my church's homecoming service. I believe that it will be an experience that you do not want to miss. I know typically in the LGBT community the discussion of religion is taboo because of the hurt that many have received from the church. But come and see why I have joined this church and why my life has changed for the better. If you are remotely curious or interested, there is no excuse to miss this one. Our service time is within brunch hours for you club heads. It is conveniently located near mass transportation. Plus there will be free food afterwards. LOL
I Went and Did It!!!
I haven't expressed my uncertainty about car situation on my blog. Primarily because I was torn. I've been rolling in a 2001 Dodge Intrepid that I had paid off a few years ago. It is the first car that I've ever paid off and definitely enjoyed not having a car note. The car, being as old as it is, hasn't really given me the amount of problems that one would expect. Overall, a great car and on top of that there was a little sentimental value placed on it because it was the car that my mom wanted before she passed.
So what's the dilemma? Well, the car is getting older and although never been a problem, in the last few months I had to pay $1000 for repairs and found out that there was another $1000 to go. Thank God, none of which is engine related and would appear to be non-on-going issues. So I toiled over whether I should run my Intrepid to the ground or get a new one. Running to the ground would mean some money to fix what was currently wrong with the car and the fear of the unknown. If I purchased a new car, that fear of the unknown would be greatly reduced if not eliminated but I'm back into a car note.
Well, long story short, I purchased a new car on last night. I immediately had buyer's remorse thinking about the payment but it is subsiding the more I drive it and realize the peace of mind that I now have. Plus I love it. 
So Worth The View
You guys have heard me recently talk about an artist named Dy'Ari. I have seen this artist on the LGBT circuit over the last year or so and have become such a fan. I had the opportunity to work with him on a couple of projects and have just fallen in love with him. That is as a friend, he has a lover ya'll and they are HAPPILY married. He is one of the most intrinsic artists that I have met. He is very transparent, sincere, down-to-earth, and not to mention sexy. Take a minute to check out his testimony here. Again, it is so worth it.
Here is my vimeo vid of it but for those who can't see vimeo, see below for the YouTube version
Here is another version on YouTube
Whitney Baby!!!
Just had to post that I just downloaded my pre-ordered Whitney CD. I'm loving it. Yeah!!!
Jersey City Pride 2009
I have to admit that I love JC Pride. Probably more than the other NYC Prides. Primarily because the JC Pride is not as pretensious as the others. You know what I mean, you go to Manhattan and everyone is standing around as if to say, "Look upon my beauty and adore me. You know you want to be me". Whereas JC's is more people friendly and just plain fun. People can be themselves and just let loose.
It started off with a music/entertainment festival where some very impressive LGBT artists performed. Some notables this year are Dy'Ari, LaLa, Kelly King (sings in the whistle register better than Mariah), Stewart Lewis, and Ten Year Vamp. Around 6:30 p.m. they cleared the stage and opened it up for a dance party in the middle of the street. You had your children there who like to vogue, dip and walk but unlike some other events everyone was encouraged to just get out there and do something. All in the name of just having fun. It was such fun to see some of the older lesbians vogueing.
This went on until around 8 p.m. and then everyone headed over to the after party at the Hard Grove Cafe. They blocked off the street and had another dance party until midnight. I danced and carried on way too much. I have to say that this was the most fun that I've had all year.
Disruptive Realism
I don't know how many of you will remember or are familiar with a song by the Talking Heads called "Once In A Lifetime". It was last featured in the movie "American Beauty". But the lyrics are something like this (leaving out some parts):
"And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?
...
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
...
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done? "
I sometimes find myself in a similar state of mind that I will describe as disruptive realism. You know, when you wake up one day and try to make sense of where you are in life, how did you get there, why is it so, where are you going from here? Why does it seem that no one really wants to settle down? Why is it that some people, who are cheating themselves, get so upset with their significant other for cheating? Why can't they just agree to have an open relationship? Can I REALLY trust my BEST friends? Why am I STILL single? Do I REALLY want a relationship right now? Am I ready for a relationship right now? Where does all of my money go? Was it really beneficial for me to graduate with my masters? Should I have stopped with my bachelors? Why is there still prejudice? Why do people kill one another? Why is homophobia so strong in people that they feel the need to physically/verbally oppress SGL's? Why is there hair growing on my back? Is that natural? Is that why I'm still single? etc.
Then I awaken from the utopia that I've created within my head where everything is bliss and there is an answer for every question. I come to the reality that I don't have all of the answers and never will. That life sometimes isn't fair, right or will go my way. That I've made some excellent, good, not the best, and down-right stupid decisions in my life. Then it makes me just stand back for a moment and say, "Whoa!". Disruptive realism.
Let Yourself Feel
Why do we live so protective of all of our emotions? Don't get me wrong, I understand not wanting to be hurt by those you let close to you. But does that require for us to go through life totally removed from emotions? Afraid to feel rejection by telling someone that we find them attractive and would like to ask them out. Afraid of feeling discarded by telling our lover what they really mean to us in fear that they may realize their worth and leave. Afraid to feel abandonment by telling friends and loved ones our true sexuality. Afraid of true love so we distance ourselves from anyone who may be perfectly suited for us. Afraid to feel hurt, disappointment and joy that comes with self evaluation so we know ourselves only on the surface. Afraid to show that we are vulnerable and let someone know that we are hurt. Afraid to just say that we are scared.
I say let yourself feel. It's OK. After all that is what makes us human. (you may have to click on the full screen button to view the text on this video)
Dy'Ari's Listening Party
If you saw or read my post about the white party, then you read that I mention Dy'Ari. Dy'Ari has been labeled an electro-pop artist but I think he transcends that label. I've heard him sing R&B, jazz, and pop and he does it well.
Last night Dy'Ari had his listening party for an anticipated 2 CD's to be released in the next few months. There were over 70 people who stopped by and listened to selections from the upcoming CD's (Inked & Encyclo-Dy'Ari). Unfortunately I didn't receive a list of all of the songs played but some of my favorites to note are "Colors of me" and "Sexy". Colors of me is a very smoothed out R&B song that sounds like Ne-Yo would have had his hands in it. By far, I think this is my favorite song. Sexy is a more up-tempo, club song that just serves it to you. If I had a body like his, I would write a song called sexy as well. But I won't go on and on about the various songs but instead will give you a few places to follow this independent artist and a few vids of previous performances. Check him out and let's support him.
Dy'Ari's Official Links
MySpace
ReverbNation
Facebook
Twitter
Here are some of the pics from the listening party held last night at Secrets in Manhattan.
White Party Cruise 2009
I hope everyone had a great weekend. The NYC area had some decent weather this weekend and made for a lovely Saturday. I finally rearranged my apartment and am loving it. I don't want to leave half the time any longer. But did make my way to James Saunder's White Party Cruise.
If you love grown and sexy events, this one is for you. This annual event is upon one of the luxury ships off of the Chelsea Piers and sails all around Manhattan, Brooklyn, Staten Island, Ellis Island, and Bayonne. I am so glad that I attended this event. I met so many wonderful people and the music was banging. I thought that since it was from midnight - 4 a.m. that I would be tired but the time went by so fast with the quality entertainment. Many entertainers were on board and made the show a lot of fun. My new friend Dy'Ari performed along with Allyson Williams (Just Call My Name). There were several exotic dancers roving around as well. I almost had my eye put out by one. Nonetheless, I will say that, again, I am another satisfied customer.
CALL FOR BLACK LGBTQ FILMS
Queer Black Cinema International Film & Music Festival is now accepting entries (short, docs, narratives, music videos) for our 2009 festival. We are looking for the best films from around the world. Films must be LGBTQ themed, highlighting the Black LGBTQ experience in a non-stereotypical light, preserve the culture and history through in-depth storytelling. More than half of the key crew positions must be filled by people who identify themselves as a person of color on a daily basis.
Straight, trans-people and international filmmakers of African descent are encourage to apply.
DEADLINE: August. 15th
FILM: http://issuu.com/queerblackcinema.org/docs/filmentryform2009
For additional information go to: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=133859477576
Join us on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=36481754399
ABOUT QUEER BLACK CINEMA INTERNATIONAL FILM & MUSIC FESTIVAL
Queer Black Cinema International Film & Music Festival is a progressive socially conscious film festival that will bring you the best Black LGBTQ theme films from around the world. The four day festival consist of not only ground-breaking films but also panel discussions with filmmakers, industry professionals and community leaders followed by a music concert from some of the hottest emerging and establish leading musicians. QBC Int'l Film & Music Festival is an entity of Queer Black Cinema.org. We are fiscally sponsored by Mix Queer Experimental Film Festival, a 501c-3 not for profit organization. Donations are tax deductable using our sponsor. be sure to include Queer Black Cinema name on the memo. You may also donate online to our I WANT MY QBCcampaign.
Sponsorship Opportunities/advertisement spots and tabling for our the Black LGBTQ Film/Book Mini Market is now available. E-mail info@queerblackcinema.org for details including volunteering
Fellowship 2009
Many of you know that I attend Rehoboth Temple church. Well, we had our Fellowship conference which is where all of the churches from all over the world come for a week long conference full of events, workshops and fellowship. It was so uplifting to see other SGL people worshiping God and loving themselves and others. There were over 4000 people there in ATL and was truly a blessed event. I kept crying for the first three days listening to the testimonies of others like Rizi Nasele Timane's.
Rizi is a Nigerian born, equal rights activist whose story challenges me in my comfort zone. You can check out her video here. Listen to the words of the song titled, "Come Out" here.
Here are some of the pics and vids that I managed to capture while there. Some were taking during the banquet for Bishop and there is a lot of background noise but you get the idea. I tried to catch some of the shouting moments but kept going in myself. Oh well.
Masked
As you stare in the mirror, you recite the lyrics of your song over and over again.
You put on your foundation and meticulously put each eyelash on perfectly.
Applied and reapplied your lipstick a dozen times until it was just right.
Spent 15 minutes trying to get that one curl in its rightful place.
You slide into that perfect dress that hides those, not so perfect sections but accentuates those banging areas.
You top it off with the right pair of pumps that elevate you close to how you feel about yourself at that moment.
You finish and say to yourself, “Perfect!”
As you wait backstage your heart races in anticipation of your performance.
Then they call your name and you then walk on stage to cheers and ovations.
All of your relentless hours of rehearsing take over.
You pour everything you have into your performance but the crowd’s cheers push you on even further in this reciprocated interaction.
You are the queen of the night.
As you finish your last selection, the thunderous applause uplifts and energizes your sense of accomplishment.
You rush backstage and again stare in the mirror.
This time you deconstruct the hours of work that you put into making yourself up only to reveal your true physical appearance; a man. Reality steps in.
As you pack up your bags and walk out of the club you pass those people who just adorned you with cheers and admiration.
Now, they won’t look twice at you as you are not “man” enough for them.
Such irony.
As you travel home, the fear of ignorant homophobes cause you to hail a cab.
As you head home alone to your over- cramped, low rent apartment you already start thinking about your next performance.
After a while you reach into your pocket and pull out your nights’ earnings.
5… 6… 7…. 10 ….14… 15…. 25 …. 26….. 27…. $27
Just as you finish you pull up to your apartment, the cab fare was $16.35
Whitney Houston vs. Melonie Daniels Revisited
Ok, if you don't remember my post about Whitney vs Melonie, you can read it here. Now, I will sometimes have dreams that are a bit prophetic about something about to happen in my life. Usually when something that is disturbing to me. For example, I dreamed of seven deaths and shortly thereafter, seven close friends and family members began to die with the last being my mom and grandmother. It was the same with my Whit-Mel dream.
I knew that it meant something which is why I blogged about it. The very day that I posted this entry I found out that a friend of mine is HIV+. This doesn't normally bother me but this was different as this friend has gone through sleeping with many other friends of mine and had not advised them of his status AND was having unprotected sex with them. Oh, did I mention that he was in a relationship with one of my best friends.
It became clear what the dream was about. Remember, both Melonie and Whitney were good friends of mine in my dream. While they fought, I felt overwhelmingly torn between the two but yet felt as one was undeniably in the wrong. Such were my feelings between my two friends.
