To Cheat Or Not To Cheat...

I started this on my FB page but wanted to go into more detail. Last night a friend and I were talking and the subject of people who cheat came up. And he asked me my feelings on it. My response was that I don't understand grown people who cheat especially in the NYC area. First of all, no matter what you are looking for, you can find it here. If you want a one-eyed hooker with a wooden leg, five strands of hair on her left side, three nipples and talks like Barry White, YOU CAN FIND IT. So if you want to have a polyamorous relationship, you can find another so easily. If you want to just sleep around, you definitely can find it. So why mislead anyone?!?

I also think part of the problem is that some people are not even sure what they want themselves. I believe that before you go into a relationship with someone, that you should have somewhat of a clue of what you want. Now, I understand that we as humans are constantly evolving. Our ideas, feelings, etc about certain things including ourselves change. But I believe that grown people should be willing to communicate what's going on with them. So if you are in a relationship and you started off really wanting monogamy but after a while, you start to change, it is up to you to bring this forward to your partner, come what may.

The other part is that I think that sometimes people just haven't embraced or accepted that part of themselves. For example, because they know that if you like sleeping around, people tend to label you a "ho". So because they don't like that label, they try to force themselves to conform to something that isn't intrinsically them. This causes them to war within themselves and therefore causing hurt to themselves as well as others. I mean after all, if you are warring within yourself, what will you do to me?

Now, granted, this doesn't cover every reason as to why people cheat but I believe these are two of the most basic reasons. So sound off, what do you think?

Essence Seeks Gay Parents

We frequently hear talk about how positive gay images are not portrayed in the African American community. Well, here is an opportunity to help change that. I just received this email and am posting it with the hopes that you forward and share it with others as well. We really need an overwhelming response to this.

ESSENCE magazine is looking to PROFILE a gay African-American couple who have adopted Black children separately or together and have blended them into a loving family.
If you fit that profile or know anyone and think they'll be good, let me know by 10 am. Wednesday, Feb. 3rd.

Anare V. Holmes
Anchor/Executive Produer
Pride & Politics
People-TV Comcast Channel 24

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