To Cheat Or Not To Cheat...

I started this on my FB page but wanted to go into more detail. Last night a friend and I were talking and the subject of people who cheat came up. And he asked me my feelings on it. My response was that I don't understand grown people who cheat especially in the NYC area. First of all, no matter what you are looking for, you can find it here. If you want a one-eyed hooker with a wooden leg, five strands of hair on her left side, three nipples and talks like Barry White, YOU CAN FIND IT. So if you want to have a polyamorous relationship, you can find another so easily. If you want to just sleep around, you definitely can find it. So why mislead anyone?!?

I also think part of the problem is that some people are not even sure what they want themselves. I believe that before you go into a relationship with someone, that you should have somewhat of a clue of what you want. Now, I understand that we as humans are constantly evolving. Our ideas, feelings, etc about certain things including ourselves change. But I believe that grown people should be willing to communicate what's going on with them. So if you are in a relationship and you started off really wanting monogamy but after a while, you start to change, it is up to you to bring this forward to your partner, come what may.

The other part is that I think that sometimes people just haven't embraced or accepted that part of themselves. For example, because they know that if you like sleeping around, people tend to label you a "ho". So because they don't like that label, they try to force themselves to conform to something that isn't intrinsically them. This causes them to war within themselves and therefore causing hurt to themselves as well as others. I mean after all, if you are warring within yourself, what will you do to me?

Now, granted, this doesn't cover every reason as to why people cheat but I believe these are two of the most basic reasons. So sound off, what do you think?


Unknown February 22, 2010 8:25 AM  

It's such a complicated issue...although, we hae to admit that it seems much easier when viewed with some maturity under your belt. At this point in my life I see that NO GOOD comes from deception. Nothing can be gained from hurting others...or hurting yourself. My advice to folks is that they should be HONEST with THEMSELVES as to what they want from a relationship AND communicate their desire with their partner(s). Simple enough...especially when viewed from outside. ;)

JACK February 22, 2010 9:45 PM  

interesting reasons you put there. I just chalk it up to a character flaw.

yet another black guy February 22, 2010 11:11 PM  

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. I recently had a similar conversation with a friend as well. I just don't get adults who lie about things, when you are more than likely to find what you really want or need somewhere out there. I chalk it up to fear (of loneliness) and greed. And I'll never make time for someone who tries to play me out like that.

TOY COUTURE February 26, 2010 8:51 PM  

" If you want a one-eyed hooker with a wooden leg, five strands of hair on her left side, three nipples and talks like Barry White, YOU CAN FIND IT"


I totally agree with your reasons whole heartedly. Great Post!