Dating Dilemna

Being new to this area (about two years now) and just really getting into the dating scene only a few months ago, I find myself a little frustrated. Frustrated because I'm torn between how dating has been for me in other regions of the country and what I perceive it to be here. And with that, trying to find a space in this arena that is me, in other words a compromise without losing self.

In other places, I have dated people and all the while we are dating all energies have been concentrated on each other. That is to say that from the time we discovered an interest we would put off meeting other people (at least for dating purposes) and focused on getting to know each other better. My experiences here in dating has been that people call themselves dating you but are still taking numbers and trying to split time up between you and boyfriend number 2-5. This is definitely a paradigm shift and I have to admit that I don't quite understand completely. I understand that you want to keep your options open but can you really get to know a person this way? There isn't enough hours in a day already with work and all of the other things that we have to do and then have to try to split your time up between so many different people, how is this done?

It also seems to me that some of the people that I have dated here remind me of monkeys. No, that isn't a racial slur but describes a behavior. Monkeys can have a diamond in their hand but if you flash a mirror at them, they will drop the diamond and chase after the new shiny object. People seem to be that way to me. They will have a functioning and meaningful relationship with someone and see a "shiny" new face and will drop their relationship, leaving behind the hard-work and time that it took to develop and chase after the chance to develop something with this new face. When does it stop?

Lastly, I have only dated African-American and Latinos in this area which is unusual for me because I typically have not restricted my dating options because of race. I've seen people of Indian, Asian and Middle-Eastern descent that I am attracted to and would even possibly date them if the opportunity arose. My concern is that I haven't been attracted to any Caucasians. At first I thought it was because I haven't met the right one. But I noticed that when I search on-line and profile search, I completely leave them out. Why? My God, I was raised in Indiana so you know that I have dated my fair share of them in the past but why has this changed?

In a place where everyone seems too busy to take time to intrinsically develop a relationship with someone, how do I meet that special person? How do I adapt? Should I adapt? Am I sending signals contrary to what I expect? Where is my drink?