I hope everyone had a great weekend. The NYC area had some decent weather this weekend and made for a lovely Saturday. I finally rearranged my apartment and am loving it. I don't want to leave half the time any longer. But did make my way to James Saunder's White Party Cruise.
If you love grown and sexy events, this one is for you. This annual event is upon one of the luxury ships off of the Chelsea Piers and sails all around Manhattan, Brooklyn, Staten Island, Ellis Island, and Bayonne. I am so glad that I attended this event. I met so many wonderful people and the music was banging. I thought that since it was from midnight - 4 a.m. that I would be tired but the time went by so fast with the quality entertainment. Many entertainers were on board and made the show a lot of fun. My new friend Dy'Ari performed along with Allyson Williams (Just Call My Name). There were several exotic dancers roving around as well. I almost had my eye put out by one. Nonetheless, I will say that, again, I am another satisfied customer.
White Party Cruise 2009
CALL FOR BLACK LGBTQ FILMS
Queer Black Cinema International Film & Music Festival is now accepting entries (short, docs, narratives, music videos) for our 2009 festival. We are looking for the best films from around the world. Films must be LGBTQ themed, highlighting the Black LGBTQ experience in a non-stereotypical light, preserve the culture and history through in-depth storytelling. More than half of the key crew positions must be filled by people who identify themselves as a person of color on a daily basis.
Straight, trans-people and international filmmakers of African descent are encourage to apply.
DEADLINE: August. 15th
FILM: http://issuu.com/queerblackcinema.org/docs/filmentryform2009
For additional information go to: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=133859477576
Join us on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=36481754399
ABOUT QUEER BLACK CINEMA INTERNATIONAL FILM & MUSIC FESTIVAL
Queer Black Cinema International Film & Music Festival is a progressive socially conscious film festival that will bring you the best Black LGBTQ theme films from around the world. The four day festival consist of not only ground-breaking films but also panel discussions with filmmakers, industry professionals and community leaders followed by a music concert from some of the hottest emerging and establish leading musicians. QBC Int'l Film & Music Festival is an entity of Queer Black Cinema.org. We are fiscally sponsored by Mix Queer Experimental Film Festival, a 501c-3 not for profit organization. Donations are tax deductable using our sponsor. be sure to include Queer Black Cinema name on the memo. You may also donate online to our I WANT MY QBCcampaign.
Sponsorship Opportunities/advertisement spots and tabling for our the Black LGBTQ Film/Book Mini Market is now available. E-mail info@queerblackcinema.org for details including volunteering
Fellowship 2009
Many of you know that I attend Rehoboth Temple church. Well, we had our Fellowship conference which is where all of the churches from all over the world come for a week long conference full of events, workshops and fellowship. It was so uplifting to see other SGL people worshiping God and loving themselves and others. There were over 4000 people there in ATL and was truly a blessed event. I kept crying for the first three days listening to the testimonies of others like Rizi Nasele Timane's.
Here are some of the pics and vids that I managed to capture while there. Some were taking during the banquet for Bishop and there is a lot of background noise but you get the idea. I tried to catch some of the shouting moments but kept going in myself. Oh well.
Masked
As you stare in the mirror, you recite the lyrics of your song over and over again.
You put on your foundation and meticulously put each eyelash on perfectly.
Applied and reapplied your lipstick a dozen times until it was just right.
Spent 15 minutes trying to get that one curl in its rightful place.
You slide into that perfect dress that hides those, not so perfect sections but accentuates those banging areas.
You top it off with the right pair of pumps that elevate you close to how you feel about yourself at that moment.
You finish and say to yourself, “Perfect!”
As you wait backstage your heart races in anticipation of your performance.
Then they call your name and you then walk on stage to cheers and ovations.
All of your relentless hours of rehearsing take over.
You pour everything you have into your performance but the crowd’s cheers push you on even further in this reciprocated interaction.
You are the queen of the night.
As you finish your last selection, the thunderous applause uplifts and energizes your sense of accomplishment.
You rush backstage and again stare in the mirror.
This time you deconstruct the hours of work that you put into making yourself up only to reveal your true physical appearance; a man. Reality steps in.
As you pack up your bags and walk out of the club you pass those people who just adorned you with cheers and admiration.
Now, they won’t look twice at you as you are not “man” enough for them.
Such irony.
As you travel home, the fear of ignorant homophobes cause you to hail a cab.
As you head home alone to your over- cramped, low rent apartment you already start thinking about your next performance.
After a while you reach into your pocket and pull out your nights’ earnings.
5… 6… 7…. 10 ….14… 15…. 25 …. 26….. 27…. $27
Just as you finish you pull up to your apartment, the cab fare was $16.35
Whitney Houston vs. Melonie Daniels Revisited
Ok, if you don't remember my post about Whitney vs Melonie, you can read it here. Now, I will sometimes have dreams that are a bit prophetic about something about to happen in my life. Usually when something that is disturbing to me. For example, I dreamed of seven deaths and shortly thereafter, seven close friends and family members began to die with the last being my mom and grandmother. It was the same with my Whit-Mel dream.
I knew that it meant something which is why I blogged about it. The very day that I posted this entry I found out that a friend of mine is HIV+. This doesn't normally bother me but this was different as this friend has gone through sleeping with many other friends of mine and had not advised them of his status AND was having unprotected sex with them. Oh, did I mention that he was in a relationship with one of my best friends.
It became clear what the dream was about. Remember, both Melonie and Whitney were good friends of mine in my dream. While they fought, I felt overwhelmingly torn between the two but yet felt as one was undeniably in the wrong. Such were my feelings between my two friends.
Dedicated to Cocoa and BD
I hope that everyone enjoyed their pride on yesterday in NYC. I had a blast. I will be posting pics and vids soon but had this one thing that I wanted to post on Friday but never got around to it. I heard this song for the first time on Thursday titled "Don't You Pay Them No Mind" by Nina Simone. The recording wasn't the best and cuts off half way through but the lyrics to the words touched me. And really had me wondering is she was talking about a SGL relationship. Either way I found it very inspiring and encouraging and appropriate for Pride month. Here is the vid and the lyrics are below. I also posted another video (on a lighter note). I dedicate both videos to Cocoa Rican and his lover (fiancé) BD.
Lyrics:
"If people laugh each time they see us walking by and their whispering just make you feel like you wanna cry. Keep on walking by my side don't look behind. You know I love you, so don't you pay em' no mind.
People say our love ain't gonna last too long. And they point at us, just like we've been doing something wrong, keep on looking in my eyes and we'll be fine. You see I love you, so don't you pay em' no mind.
Stay with me and let em' see, let em' know that you love me, that u love me, if it's true who cares what they do? Cause I don't need anyone but you. Just you and me, we're gonna make it all alone. Let them laugh at us, we're gonna build a world all our own, Keep on then, keep on holdin on to me,they'll learn in time. I really love you, so don't you pay em' no mind. You know I love you, you know I can't be without you."
I've Just Experienced Drama Dupree
I saw this on another blog today and this was my first experience with Drama Dupree. I believe I will be a long time subscriber. LOL
His blog is http://dramadupree.com/
Spectrum (Recreating Self) Project
Here are some untouched pics (screenshots) from a video project that I'm working on. I hope to have it finished and posted by the end of the month.
This Weekend's Events
There are two things of note going on this weekend. If you are around, come check them out.
Recreating Self-"Clothed in Our Right Minds"
Date: Saturday, June 20, 2009 from 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM (ET)
Cost: Free
Location:
Rehoboth Temple Christ Conscious Church
310 West 139th St. (between Frederick Douglass & Edgecombe)
New York, 10013
We invite you to our series of discussions around "Recreating Self". The conversation during our discussions will focus on recreating ourselves mentally, physically, financially and spiritually.
We ask the question, “Have you been struggling to reconcile your sexuality with your relationship with God?” It has been found that many in our community feel a spiritual disconnect from God because of their sexuality. For many, the politics of this world, relationships, friends and even family have left them feeling empty and alone.
1) Dealing with the beliefs, stereotypes and untruths that have been internalized within us.
2) Freeing ourselves from behaviors/labels/stigmas that have been placed on us.
3) Examining the need of community “socially normative” individuals to validate their negativity
toward marginalized individuals.
4) Empowering one's self to become free.
5) Going back to the communities of our oppressors to validate ourselves by our lives and
not solely by our words.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
2nd Annual Tavern of Creativity - Spring Fever
Host: Cathy Delaleu
Location:
Baha'i Center
53 East 11th Street
New York, NY 10003 US
When: Sunday, June 21, 5:00PM
Let the rhythm flow with spring fever at our fingertips. Come and enjoy this unique event you won't want to miss. Poets, artists and musicians uniting in one special space to create magic.
Poetry reading starts at 6pm sharp. Two open mics will be selected from the audience.
Your $5 donations will get you a raffle ticket for a chance to win some cool artsy prizes.
This event starts at 5pm and ends at 9:30pm. Refreshments will be served.
No Looking Back (Pt 3 Revelations)
... I found myself at Pride. It was your usual myriads of half naked men and women parading down the street celebrating life. Then, I heard a familiar sound from the distance. It was church music. And not just church music, Pentecostal style music. Instantly, I was like, "What the....?!?" And sure enough, there was a float for a church with SGL people on it in the middle of Pride. I instantly knew that I had to get a flyer but at the same time knew that they had to be from out-of-town. It was to my surprise that I realized that they were in Harlem. I know, right?!? Harlem!!!
So I decided to give it a try. And, although it is a bit smaller than many of the churches that I've been affiliated with as an adult, I realized then, that my life was going to change. I have to admit that it did take a bit off guard to have a gay minister and to see SGL people sitting together and being a part of the service. I even found myself doing double takes when I would forget where I was. But I think the most impressive thing was that the message wasn't watered down. This wasn't a joke and people were serious. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about being deep in the way that traditional churches are. You know when people are so heaven-bound that they are no earthly good. No, these people are REAL but still have a love for God.
I wasn't long before I joined this church (Rehoboth Temple). I found myself learning to love myself again and to accept myself. Not just as a gay/bi male but as a child of God knowing that God loves me and has designed me. I found the hatred that I had for "church" and "religious people" beginning to disappear. I realized that the tactics used by some "christian" churches is a weapon of evil to make SGL people feel less than human, less than a child of God in order to create unhealthy lives, broken relationships, and no sense of well-being. In this way we will act as I did in the past and continue being the monsters that they try to make us out to be. I started to let go of so many things that I was holding onto from my past. But I think most of all, I realized that I need to apologize to so many people.
To my immediate family - I apologize for not allowing you to know who I truly am as a person and not having faith in your love for me.
To my ex-lover, boyfriends, interests - I apologize for not giving 100% of myself. For the torture that I put you through living a double life. For you having to deal with all of the pain, and insecurities. For allowing other people's limited acceptance manipulate our lives.
To my friends (who don't know me entirely -
I apologize for underestimating our friendship and love therefore giving you a pseudo-friendship. I realize by not being open and honest with you that I hindered our relationship from being deeper and more meaningful.
To my community (future generations) - I apologize for not being that pioneer to stand-up boldly, helping to bring down those old beliefs. Helping them to realize that sexuality is only a small part of us but is still a part of us. That love is love.
To my ex-girlfriend - I apologize for not being 100% open with you and my sexuality. For wasting your time and allowing you to love my guise.
To gay affirming churches - I apologize for giving my time, talent, tithes and efforts to churches that didn't accept or embrace me completely or would tolerate me as long as I was quiet. All of this time I could have been helping to raise the bar at a place of acceptance. I apologize to all of the people that I could have ministered to, allowing them to see that they do not have to put up with an abusive relationship (them and their church relationship). Sitting there being verbally abused Sunday after Sunday and being torn down on the inside.
I am not pretending to have it "all-together" as life is about on-going revelations and experiences but I know that in order to move-on, I must right the wrongs from my past.
I vow to disclose who I am to my family, loved ones, friends and anyone who needs to hear it. To live my life in a way that is healthy, and prosperous mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Whitney Houston vs. Melonie Daniels
Part 3 to "No Turning Back" should be posted in the next couple of days but in the meantime I had to post this dream that I had last night.
It started off with Beyonce coming over to my house. Evidently we were tight like that and when she would come in town, she would just stay at my house. Anyway, she came in town for a concert where there were several artists performing. Some kind of way, I was backstage and watching Beyonce perform. But I was also in charge of getting the next artist ready to perform. So Ms. Whitney Houston was there but Melonie Daniels was performing first. So Mel walks up and we were really happy to see each other and hugged and laughed for a minute. But I remember that I wanted to go to the front of the stage for something. No sooner did I get up there and I heard this disruption. I turn around and Mel is sliding across the stage. It was Mel and Whitney fighting. I was so shocked. Mel, you could tell, didn't want to fight but Whitney was just going crazy. At one point they were rolling around on the floor pulling hair and everything. At that point Mel was just getting fed up and finally began fighting back. Some people try to break it up and separated the two. Some kind of way Whitney got loose and charged Mel, tackling her to the ground. Pumps were flying everywhere. Next thing I know, Whitney drop kicks Mel off of the stage and the stage was on fire. I woke up and was like wtf?!?
Then I had another dream where Mel was at another event and I tried to reach out to her but couldn't reach her and just about when I was ready to touch her, she vanished. I don't know what I ate but dayum.
Omar Ramon Boxing?!?
I'm sorry but I couldn't resist. I saw this pic and it reminds so much of Omar (if he were a straight boxer) LOL
No Looking Back (Pt 2 Shedding Layers)
After moving here, I originally stepped out boldly living my new life. Upon entering grad school and work, I was very open about my sexuality and actually began living my life without fear of reprisal. I began to really notice the full extent of the damage of living closeted. Ways previously unknown.
With that being said, there was one avenue that I tended to hold on to. In retrospect, I believe that in trying to save the relationship, I tried to cling back to the familiar with the hopes of rekindling us. I joined a COGIC church here in Jersey City (JC) and began living a double life again. You see, we met in church and both were active in the church back in the south. On the plus side, this time, I was only somewhat closeted. I was free most of the week (which I spent in NYC), it was only when I came back to JC to go to church that I put on the front. He soon followed and joined. Unfortunately, it was too late for us.
This carried on for about a year to year and a half until one day while at convocation, a preacher begin preaching about gays. That didn't bother me as much as I had become used to it by this time but because it was a message of hate. He actually said that we should get back to the days when "we" would kick little limp-wrist, sissy boys in the butt. And then to hear the church all amen and hallelujah to it struck a chord. As I sat there and wondered if he realized that if he did that today, it would be a hate crime. Something changed. It wouldn't manifest itself until a while later while I was at the church picnic. I had a wonderful time and just decided to take a walk and while on that walk it was like God himself spoke to me and told me that this life wasn't for me. That He had something better. On the way home I told my roommate that I wasn't coming back and didn't.
I tried to establish a new relationship with someone but people here just don't have the same interest in settling down as in other places that I've lived. I had my heart broken more than a few times and pretty much gave up on intrinsically dating someone with hopes of settling down. A bit lost and confused, I just began living my life any ol' kind of way. I've done some things that I am nowhere near proud of. Nothing illegal but living beneath my privilege. I had unprotected sex, began sleeping with every Tom that had a Dick that was Hairy, men, women, in-between, two-somes, three-somes, and more-somes. It is so funny how we can so quickly slip into something (I mean that in more ways than one). It is only by the grace of God that I never tested positive. I tried to feel love in any way possible. Even if it meant for me to pretend in my head while being with the one-night stands, etc. I tried to feel the love that couples had while being involved in three-somes with them. Kind of living through them. At that point, anything was better than nothing.
Then one day....
Stay tuned for part 3
No Looking Back (Pt 1 Under Wraps)
This is probably the most personal post that I've written in a while but it needs to be said. I was listening to "No Looking Back" by Damita Haddon (see video above) and that song just got all in me. You must listen to the words to really understand where I am going in this post. But, I began thinking about how this is where I feel that I am in my life right now.
You see, before I moved to the NYC area I lived in Hilton Head, SC and Savannah, GA. There I lived half-in and half-out of the closet. You know what I mean; you have a few friends house that you could wild out at but everything else was on the low. I had a lover and we had the "fake room" so that when people stopped by, we could pretend that we slept in different rooms, etc. I did this mostly because I didn't want to disrupt my great-grandparents life with rumors of my lifestyle getting back to them but I also had my issues of insecurity.
While listening to the song I thought about how living in that way made life so stressful for both of us. So much so that it lead to a very unhealthy and abusive relationship. Until I realized that in order to save us and to save myself that we would have to leave and go where we could be free. This was despite the fact that I had planned to stay around until my great-grandmother passed on so that she wouldn't be there without me. After making arrangements to have here well taken care of, we decided to move to the NYC area.
I remember that feeling of regret while riding in that tore up U-Haul truck, not knowing how we were going to support ourselves, no job lined up for neither of us, how I was going to have all of the money that I needed for school and not knowing if it was too late to try to salvage my relationship. Regret, not for those things but for the damage that was done to both myself and my lover while trying to live a double life. I remember praying that it wasn't too late to save what we had. But I knew that I was now free, I know that God loves me and that was all that really mattered. I refused to live that way again.
Stay tuned for Part 2.
New Creative Challenge/Creative Challenge Submissions
New Creative Challenge:
The topic for the next Creative Challenge will be "Pride" in celebration of pride month. You will have until 6/30 to submit your entries. Happy Pride!!!
Creative Challenge Submissions:
Here are the submitted pieces for this month's Creative Challenge with the theme of AIDS. I love you Cath.
WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT
Love had nothing to do with it
You hear me?
Nada
I was simply hungry for a meal and he offered
Offered without hesitation
I agreed to let him spend the night on one condition
That he sleeps on the couch
While I stayed put in my bedroom
Wearing my sexiest nighty
I came out of the room to go brush my teeth
Of course, he saw me
His mouth dropped at the sight of cleavage and long legs
Loss of words,
I tell you, the look on his face was “priceless”
I knew what I was doing
Brushed my teeth real good then headed back to the room
In the dark
We spoke about poetry
He asked questions as if he was a radio jockey
Wondering why I’m so fascinated with words
Then there was silence
I thought he had fallen asleep
“Kiella? Are you still up?”
“Yeah,” I replied from the bedroom
“Can I join you?”
“Where are we going?” I jokingly asked
“I want to hold you…that’s all.”
“Ok”
Deep down inside I knew it wasn’t going to last
His footsteps were heard in the dark
I felt his thick, warm body close to mine
He pulled me close, wrapped his arms around my waist
It only took five minutes
It was way too tempting not to turn around
And do the do
When it was over
We were both exhausted
The next morning I woke up to find him staring right at me
“I’m in love,” he said with a sweet smile
“What love has to do with a midnight snack?”
“Is that what you call it?”
“It is what it is.”
He got up and went back to the couch
I went back to sleep
©2009by Cathy Delaleu
Memorandum
Didn’t you get the memo?
I thought it was evident that love has left the building
You won’t feel this summer’s shadow on your bed
No E-vites
No E-Cards
No free membership to my Bally’s
No I-Tunes
No lyrics for free
As a matter of fact you can dunk your donut elsewhere
Don’t you dare use my home as your depot
Yes, love has left the building along with the phone sex
The yahoo messenger
Porn videos you enjoyed so much while I dirty danced my way to you
Entertainment is not tonight
Victoria took her secret back
You can relax
I’m ok being solo
I’ve taken with me the dog, the fish, cleaned up the fridge
wiped out the bank account
My groove came back 168 hours ago
7 days to be exact
at a poetry event in the village
Mr. Ken stepped up to me
Fine as hell
Can you spell pfine?
How pfine?
He had me stuttering
I don’t usually stutter during a performance on stage
But he was looking at me as if he could devour me right there like cheesecake
Hi, I’m cheesecake, my eyes said to him
I’m strawberry, he threw back, licking his lips
Ha! Ha!
See, he had to ask
Didn’t just grab it
He was a gentleman about it
Not how you did it when we met online
The way you lied about your age and pictures
See, you tricked me more than once
Why did I give in?
Don’t know, must have been crazy lonely
You know, loneliness is an empty glass of Cosmo
You fill it up when you get thirsty
I filled up my glass with my sexy spoken-word
It was a wrap
Ken was immediately hooked
Easy
You’re replaceable
I wake up and to my left is Mr. Ken
Pfine as hell
I tell you, I don’t need breakfast in the morning
I can eat him up just by watching him sleep
It’s not a sin to move on
Not a sin to be happy with someone new
When it’s new even the sheets scream happy, joy, joy
The pillows smell Downey April fresh
Waking up for work sucks
I bitch and moan about it
Can’t wait to run back home to the new toy waiting
I’m the Barbie he gets to play with
He’s the Frederick’s to my Hollywood
Every night I’m a different character
Tonight I’m his Crazy In Love, Beyonce
Bouncing booty at 80 mph
He is hypnotized, can’t stop drooling
Baby do you need a napkin?
I give him a taste of my tropics
Taking him to Haiti
Where he eats the rice, beans, best of all the spicy pork
I tell him don’t bite too hard on my mangoes
They’re ripped enough to give him cavities
You look upset?
Should I go on about Ken wanting to buy his Barbie a house?
I’m his KFC
Krazy Fine Cliterature
Literally, the clit speaks to him in tongues
Can’t focus on the ceiling fan
When he’s causing adequate riot
Are you taking note?
Again why did I bother with you?
Must have been pretty bored when I surfed the net
All I can say is
You’re the biggest LOSER
©2009 by Cathy Delaleu
Creative Challenge Update.
I have received one entry for the creative challenge, so far, but it isn't too late. I will post all entries by Saturday of this week so you have until then to submit your entry.
For more information on this month's challenge, you can go here.
2nd Annual Tavern of Creativity- Spring Fever
Many of you already know Cathy Delaleu but for those who don't, you can check out her blog here. Cathy is a celebrated poet whose style is both intelligent and sensual. Those of you who know me, know I live for some Cathy. lol Anyway she is having her second annual Tavern of Creativity. All creative people are asked to participate. This is an opportunity for aspiring poets, musicians, and artists to share their craft. Here is the info:
Location: Baha'i Center
53 East 11th Street
New York, NY 10003
When: Sunday, June 21, 5:00PM
Phone: 212-545-4163
Let the rhythm flow with spring fever at our fingertips. Come and enjoy this unique event you won't want to miss. Poets, artists and musicians uniting in one special space to create magic.
Poetry reading starts at 6pm sharp. Two open mics will be selected from the audience.
Your $5 donations will get you a raffle ticket for a chance to win some cool artsy prizes.
This event starts at 5pm and ends at 9:30pm. Refreshments will be served.
Ailey at BAM
Last time there were tickets beginning at $20 to see the Alvin Ailey dance group, some people were mad at me for not telling them. So here you go.
One Week Only June 9-14
Tickets start at $20
Following last year's triumphant season at BAM, Ailey returns to Brooklyn with tow new programs.
Program A
"Best of Ailey"
SuiteOtis,
Revelations,
and Hymn
June 9 & 11 at 7:30 p.m.
June 13 at 2p.m. and 7:30 p.m.
Program B
Classic Ailey
Blues Suite (with live music),
Anniversary Highlights,
and Revelations
June 10 & 12 at 7:30 p.m.
June 14 at 3 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.
Click here to purchase tickets
Rooftop Films
Last Friday I went to an event called the Rooftop Films and can't go on enough about it. They hold mini film festivals weekly through the summer on the tops of roofs. It sounds hokey but being outside on the top of a building where you are able to see downtown, the bridges, etc was really cool.
They usually start off with a band and then begin to show the films. The films are typically shorts and more of the independent film style. So if you are looking for X-Men, well, you probably won't enjoy yourself. But if you enjoy movies such as the Science of Sleep, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, etc, then you'll probably enjoy these films.
They only have a limited amount of seats so you must get there early if you want one but it is all good if you don't. People bring comforters, blankets, and picnic while they are there. We are talking close to 2000 people where I was in Chinatown. They had three screens to help accommodate everyone and there really wasn't a bad seat in the house.
Below are some pics from their website. Of course I forgot my camera. LOL 
RIP Darrell Simmons
This past Monday one of my neighborhood friends was strangled to death in his apartment. They evidently had been arguing when Leonardo Novoa decided to end the life of Darrell. Darrell who was one of those people that always brought a smile to your face was also one of the most giving people I've met. He will truly be missed.
AIDS Walk/Church Anniversary
First as a reminder, please see my post about the Creative Challenge and "Gay = Sin" video.
As some of you may recall, I am walking in the AIDS Walk this Sunday. I am almost at my goal of $250 with $200 raised to date. I am hoping that readers of this blog may contribute what they have to help me reach my goal. This can be any dollar amount and you can even sponsor anonymously. To sponsor on-line, just go to this website:
http://aidswalknewyork2009.kintera.org/ty
Again, thanks.
Church Anniversary
For those who aren't doing anything Sunday, stop by my church for our 3rd Anniversary. We are an inclusive church and it is a come as you are so there is not excuse. LOL
Creative Challenge
First I would like to thank everyone who has sponsored me, so far, for the NYC AIDS Walk. If you would like more information about it, see my previous post.
Creative Challenge:
Well, there have been a couple of requests for me to restart the creative challenge. Hopefully, those people will continue to submit entries (hint, hint).
Anyway, for those who are not aware of how this works this is how it goes. I give a subject for the challenge. For this challenge it is "AIDS" which is based on my walk this month. You then can create ANYTHING that relates to that subject. You can do a video piece, picture, narrative, poem, song, blog entry,... ANYTHING. You then email it to me (image, link to video, or link to blog, etc) to tyw at me.com by 5/30/2009. And yes you can put your watermark or credentials on your piece. I will create a special blog entry with everyone's submissions. This is not a contest so ALL skill levels are welcomed. This is just an exercise to keep our creative juices flowing.
Topic: AIDS (this can be awareness, prevention, etc)
Deadline: 5/30/2009
Send To: tyw @ me.com
NYC AIDS Walk
This year I am working in the NYC AIDS walk on Sunday, May 17, 2009. If anyone would like to help sponsor me, I will greatly appreciate it. Here is the link to make a secure donation on-line:
http://aidswalknewyork2009.kintera.org/ty
Remember, these donations are tax deductible.
Thank You
Quick Movie
I threw this together last night for a friend of mine to put on his iPhone. He gave me a few words that he wanted and I took some pics of him previously and there you go. Anyway, here it is.
Drama Queenz
Queer Black Cinema presents
DATE: Thursday, April 23
TIME: 7 PM - 9 PM
LOCATION: 208 West 13th Street (between 7th & 8th Ave/The LGBT Center)
Drama Queenz, a new Black Gay Comedy Web-Series
QBC ReelTALK Q&A Discussion w/ Cast & Crew
TOPIC: The State of Black Gay roles in Theater
Moderated by Aaron Ingram (Executive Director of ActNow Foundation)
The Drama Queenz is a ten-minute web-series that focuses on gay actors living in Queen, NY looking to make it big on Broadway. The series follows Jeremiah (Joseph), a dreamer with ridiculously poor audition luck, Davis (Griffith), a perfectionist whose hard work produces uneven results, and Preston (Rucker), a realist whose inhibitions stir-up delightful “drama” for all to enjoy
The series stars Dane Joseph (national tour of Aida), Kristen-Alexzander Griffith (national tours of Rent), and Troy Valjean Rucker (national tour of Jesus Christ Superstar).
Cash Bar & Light Refreshments (while supplies last)
$8 online $10 @ The door $6 w/ valid student ID
TICKETS
info@queerblackcinema.org
PRESS RELEASE
INSIDE THE Q Blog
VIDEO PROMO
PURCHASE A TICKET ONLINE AND ENTER A CHANCE
TO WIN DIRTY LAUNDRY dir. Maurice Jamal
Photo Opt/Networking/Light refreshments@7:15 PM
Screening @8 PM
Some More Vids
This is the second dance performance from the church's dance ministry
This is Akua Doku with "Nappy Headed Ho's" from the last Verve event.
"Finding Me" Screening
You Don't Have to Ask... I'll Just Tell You
Sorry for so many posts in one, but I'll try to be quick. On Saturday, I attended ChillFest which is a monthly viewing party for mostly gay and lesbian movies/documentaries. This month they screened a movie called "Ask Not". As you can probably already guess, it was focused on the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy in the US Army.
Prior to the movie, this policy seemed to make since to me and I didn't quite understand what the big deal was about it. I figured, if you aren't sexually active while serving in the military then how would anyone really know anyway. Well, let's just say that I had my eyes opened this past weekend. I didn't think about the psychological abuse that you may receive from the other soldiers with teasing or their cadences that talk about "fags" being weak (yes they showed several troops shouting them in training). Most soldiers during their training and military career begin some type of psychological evaluation with trying to cope with a more aggressive way of life, post-traumatic stress, or coping with living without their loved ones, etc. Straight soldiers can discuss how they miss their wifes, girlfriends, etc, however, if a gay/lesbian discloses this information even to a psychiatrist, can have it used against them. I didn't realize that the military will take any letters that you receive from loved ones and use that against you. They also will tap into phone calls of yours. Now, when I say use it against you, I mean towards a "Dishonorable Discharge". I remember my father being in the military and if ever you have a dishonorable discharge, you can kiss every really having a decent job good bye. Not only in the military but back in civilian life!!! This will also disqualify you of your military benefits including retirement and/or educational benefits.
On top of all of this, there was a shortage of linguists at the time of 9/11. The military discharged more than what was needed to fill that shortage simply because they were gay. Many of them are fluent in Arabic and could have easily translated the threats prior to 9/11. To add insult to injury, the US would rather enlist people with felonies than accept qualified gay/lesbian troops.
After viewing the documentary I have to admit that I am compelled to become more active in gay/lesbian rights.
Friday's Events
This is just a quick post to put up some images from Friday. The first set of pics are from a musical event where Nhojj performed. It was at this place called Temple M in Harlem. It used to be a mansion and then was converted to a synagogue and then a church until it was purchased by Mi'Chelle (the man with the Sweeney Todd haircut) and turned into a performance space. He now lives in this awesome apartment at the top, if you are really nice he'll show it to you.
Afterwards, I ran over to Newark for Shawn QT's birthday party. I felt so bad because I realized at that point that it has almost been a year since the last time I hung out with the guys. It was really nice to see everyone again and to see that so many of them are now hooked up. I resolve to stay in better contact. Anyway, here are the pics
CITY COUNCIL MEMBERS LAUD NEW REPORT TRACKING HIV/AIDS AMONG NYC WOMEN BY NEIGHBORHOOD
A press release by the Women's HIV Collaborative of New York states that "60% of HIV-positive women reside in just 4 areas of Brooklyn, the Bronx, and Manhattan...". The Women's Collaborative brings women together to address the needs of women infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. The women of the Collaborative are from multi-racial and ethnic backgrounds, sexual orientations, and serostatuses. They believe that targeting services in these areas would improve public health benefits and reduct the number of newly infected HIV cases. I know that most of my blog readers are men but we are all in this together. The purpose of this blog entry is just to bring awareness with the hope that these staggering numbers will be dispersed throughout the community.
CLICK HERE to download a copy of this report.
Happy Birthday Derrick and Edwin
Last Saturday was the party for two of my friends, Derrick and Edwin. As you can see, it was a white party. Even though I was greatly against it, who wears all white that early in the year lol, it turned out really nice. On top of that it was a very nice mix of people (straight, bi, gay and confused). Anyway, I am so proud of them. They have been married for, like, 13 years and are still together. They are now buying houses and renting them out. I wish them many happy years to come.
March Verve Clips
Well, here are some clips from the last Verve event. More to come.
BTW, if anyone has contact with Omar, let me know. I really want to see if we can have him do a set.
"The Looking Glass" by Dy'Ari
Nhojj opened up for the event singing "Love"
The Power of Life and Death is in the Tongue (Revisited)
Well, just an update. Many of you read my post titled, "The Power of Life and Death is in the Tongue" that I talked about being afraid to say that I was in a relationship and why. Well, it is over. We have decided that we are better off as friends as we both have issues that need to be resolved before the two of us can go on any further, together. The good thing is that it wasn't an ugly break-up and that we are still friends. I am glad when people can carry themselves in a mature way even through having hurt feelings from a break-up. I guess that is because there was no cheating (that I know of) or ugly name calling sessions, etc. It was just the realization of where we both are at this point of time is not what the other needs.
Rehoboth Dance Ministry
I just had to post this. This is the Rehoboth Temple Dance Ministry in their very first performance/ministry. I am excited for Edwin and Sherron. Keep up the good work guys. Can't wait to see what you do next.
Morning Question
I heard this question this morning while listening to Big Boi In The Morning and thought it may be interesting to see what some of my fellow bloggers think. Here's the question;
Does internet flirting constitute as cheating?
Speak on it!!
Birthday Weekend
This was the weekend that I celebrated my birthday with some of my friends. Friday, after work, I just did some work for one of my clients and played Wii until the wii hours in the morning but I finally made pro level in tennis with my Mii.
Saturday, I went out to see the "Bride Wars" with my friend Poncho and out to eat afterwards. The movie was extremely funny or maybe I was just sleepy-happy as Poncho is such an early riser on the weekend. Baby, we were at the show before 10:15 a.m. You already know that I was still half sleep so everything seemed funny to me. Later that night I went to have dinner with Eddie out in Brooklyn at this jazz place. Other than it taking a while to be served, it was nice. Plus the conversation really made up for it as we really just got way too deep. Blame it on the alcohol. We were going to see a movie afterwards but it was after midnight by the time we got out of there.
Sunday, after church, some of my friends threw a little birthday dinner party at my friend Max's house. I had the chance to catch up with some friends that I haven't seen face-to-face in quite a while so you know that I enjoyed myself. Then of course, you know that the gurls had to watch the grammy's and you know they were reading outfits and hair for points. I laughed so hard, they know they are too funny. Then we would just bust out with the most random things. Two had me laughing clear into the morning. One I am going to do a piece on and will post it later but the other was us talking this commercial up from back in the day. You should have seen us reenacting it. lol
Here are some of the pics
Here are some pics that I forgot to post from the holidays.
Happy Birthday To Me
Yes, today is my birthday and I feel fabulous. I am thankful to God for being around as long as I have especially when I haven't always made the wisest decisions. 
I don't have any plans for tonight but will spend Sunday evening (after church) with some friends as we chew (eat). Antonio bought me a nice little outfit (printed t and jeans) that I am loving. I got a sweet hook-up from Derrick and Pei. Derrick works at the apple store and got me a sweet hook up on my MacBook. And Pei hooked me up with Final Cut Studio 2 for free. This software bundle cost more that what I paid for the laptop. The laptop came with iLife09 which has this application that will allow you to take a photo and select a person's face and give their name. It will then go through all of your pics and assign that name to all the pictures that have that person's face in it. You can then do a search anytime and pull up all of that person's pics. It is awesome. I am so in geek heaven right now. I can't wait to play with it a bit more. Especially since I've been doing some work for Nhojj.
I will be sure to post plenty of pics from this weekend and from more works.
Jensen Atword at Verve #3/ Rock Band
This has been a phenomenal event and growing so fast. The next Verve event is on February 18. See the flyer below for more information. You can see one of my previous posts here to get an idea of the event.
Rock On!!!
Saturday, I went over to Derrick and Edwin's house. We ended up playing their Rock Band. It was too much fun and Edwin's niece got such a kick out of it that she had to video us.
The Power of Life and Death is in the Tongue
Some of you know that's familiar with this phrase know that it is biblical. It is something that I truly believe. I don't know why God, in His infinite wisdom, placed such a strong emphasis on speaking things but it is seen throughout the bible. Throughout the whole creation process God spoke things into existence (Genesis 1). The same goes for us. If we have goals, dreams or desires, we can speak them into existence. Professionals will often call this the pygmalion effect or self-fulfilling prophecy. These basically say, for example, that if you tell a child that they are smart, beautiful, or talented then they will be. If you begin to tell that same child that they are stupid, ignorant, or ugly, then they will be. Now of course, that isn't an unconscious death but is the death of positivity in that child's life.
With that being said, why am I so afraid of saying that I'm in a relationship? My first thoughts are to say that it is because I'm not sure if this will really work between him and I. So, I don't want to tell anyone and make it seem like I'm just going through boyfriends like crazy. However, I don't think that this is really the reason. I say this because in some of my past relationships I felt the same way going into it but yet told others. I walked boldly into the relationship. Why haven't I done that for him when he has been more than accommodating and working hard to make this happen? Is it because this one seems like he isn't going anywhere? I mean, he's not going anywhere. I've tried to shake him twice. But getting rid of him is as useless as sweeping the dirt on the ground trying to get rid of the dust, he is still there. Am I one of those people who claim that they want a nice, honest and sincere person but when they come along, they don't want them? Am I scared that this one is too close to being for real? Am I just not ready to give up my single life? By not saying anything about it, acknowledging it and walking in it, am I contributing to the demise of this relationship?
Busy Weekend
This last weekend was a total blur but satisfying at the same time. I actually decided to host a dinner at my house on Sunday. I know.... I waited long enough, right!?! Anyway I spent ALL day cleaning and prepping on Saturday to the point that I just about passed out by Saturday night. Went to church on Sunday and then came home to finish cooking. It was just a few of us because I don't think my place is conducive for entertaining a large group but for the six of us was perfect. Germono, Emory, Derrick, Antonio and Edwin came over and we chewed baby. I fixed some jambalaya, sautéed veggies, biscuits, curry goat, beans and peach cobbler. After that we played the Wii, of course. Especially since Antonio bought me another game.... the American Idol game. It was hilarious. If for nothing else to hear Derrick singing "I'm Every Woman" with his bass voice. I felt like an ass later because I totally forgot to take pics and/or vids. Oh well.
Monday we woke up and I fixed some biscuits, sausage, and scrambled eggs with onions, bell peppers and maple cured bacon. Then we went ice skating at the rink a block down from my apartment. It is the first time that I've been skating since my broken ankle and I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't bother me at all. Antonio surprised the hell out of me, he took off like a queen chasing after the last pair of Jimmy Cho's. LOL Here are some pics. The last one if of this little kid that was trying to holla at me at the rink. He couldn't have been no more than like 15 y'all. They just keep getting younger and younger or am I just getting older and older? 
We, then, ended the day by going to see the 3-D movie "My Bloody Valentine". I will just say that I was more impressed with the 3D effects. The last time that I went to a 3D movie is when you had that white piece of cardboard with one red and one blue focal. The movies weren't even 3d they were just red and blue versions of the movie. They truly have come a long way. They gave us these modern sunglasses looking thing and it really looked like it was coming out of the screen. My Lord, what a weekend.
What would you do for friends? See below video, I thought it was cute.
Happy New Year
I have been really busy but am very excited in what's going on in my life. There will be more on that to come. But I just had to post a couple of things really fast before heading off to bed.
Well, until my next serious post, enjoy these (Warning: Strong Language):
My Gift
Ok, I broke down and purchased a holiday gift for myself. I splurged on a Sony HD/HDD camcorder. I have to say that I love it. It records on an internal hard disk and I just transfer it directly into my computer. No more tapes. It can record 8 hours of HD video or 22 hours of standard video. With the high definition, the quality is wonderful. I LOVE IT. I also bought the tripod that goes with it. The tripod has all of the controls for the camera on the handle. So I can just zoom, focus, and adjust from the handle without touching the camera. I will post some videos that I've from it soon. It also takes pictures, here are some of the pics that I've taken with it.
Happy Holidays
Just wishing everyone a very happy holiday season.
I am working on something to post next week. Until then, here are some pics of me and some of my friends at my bowling league holiday party. I was glad that they went with me, we had such a good time.
Queen Lover? /Verve
Let me tell you a little story. Last Friday night I went to a little party in Jersey City and I had noticed this one guy who came in and thought he was very attractive. I was kind of drawn to him for some reason. I mentioned to my friend (the host) that I thought this guy was hot. When he asked me who I told him and he agreed.
Later that night I ran into the guy again and we had a nice conversation with a lot of flirting. I noticed that he came across very shy. He wouldn't hardly look me in the face but I thought it was cute. Then I noticed his ass. OMG! It was a work of art, as if God took six days just to mold that. You already know that I'm an ass man so my infatuation heightened.
Finally he said that he had to go to work in the morning and had to leave. As he was heading out, I told my friend (the host) again that I thought he was the do all, be all of all that is and ever shall be. It was then that he realized who I was talking about. He thought I was talking about another guy. His words were, "Don't you know who that is?". My heart kind of sank. I told him no. He then tells me the name (I won't mention it here for privacy) and it is a VERY well known drag queen in the NYC area. You could have smacked me with a monkey.
I have never really been attracted to very feminine guys, let alone drag queens so this rocked me. But then I thought about it, if my friend hadn't told me, I would have pursued it. Now, if he carried himself, while there, in a way that I was comfortable with and he looked like any other guy that I would have dated, why am I trippin'? Maybe being a drag queen is just "a job". Kind of like someone who puts on a work uniform (McDonald's, UPS, NYPD). Well all of that has me doing some self analyzing; can I really see myself dating a drag queen? If so, would I be embarrassed to tell my friends that I am? Why does that sound so shallow of me?
Don't Forget About Verve
As always, Verve features same-gender-loving artists and supplies a venue for them to showcase their talent. I really hope that people will support this endeavour. I have some vids posted below if you would like to get an idea of the event. Please come out, you won't be disappointed. More info here at the Verve Website
Emory's B-Day Bash
One of my good friends, Emory, had a birthday dinner at Lucky Cheng's. I had never heard of the place but Emory's boyfriend, Germono, said it is really interesting. I had no clue as to what I was in for. Long story short, it is an Asian transsexual/drag queen cabaret theatre. I knew that I wasn't ready when our half naked waitress came and introduced herself like "Hi my name is Japanese Fucking Bitch and I will be your waitress. What will you pussy boys like to drink tonight? I suggest the orgy with the flaming pussy as it is very satisfying.". Umm...... yeah, that is how it all started. The night continued with my friend Derrick being pulled up on stage and practically stripped naked, Emory winning the fake orgasm contest, and the ever popular drunken karaoke. Nonetheless, I had a very good time and enjoyed the food totally and the entertainment was something to talk about.
Here are some pics, sorry for the bad quality but my camera is dead ** sniff sniff **. I have to use my cell phone for pics now.
Verve
As some of you know, I have been working with a group called the Well Entertainment group. They have been working on a monthly function called Verve. I was called at the last minute to help put a little promo together for it. Here is that piece.
The event was awesome. The venue (Brooklyn Society of Ethical Culture) used to be a mansion back in the day and has been converted. The wood craftsmanship in there was just my taste. I wish I could just buy it and turn it back into a home. The food and wine that they served was very tasty, maybe a bit too tasty for some. Some people just couldn't enough. LOL. But the most exciting were the artists, Nhojj and Crystal Monee Hall. I am so sold on them. Several of their songs that they performed that night are now some of my favorite songs. I haven't had time to edit all of the video but here is a taste. This is Crystal singing "Traveler". The compression isn't too good but will be better on the final export.
You can catch these artists again next month (12/20) as they perform again at this venue. But I will keep reminding you here on my blog.
A Letter To Love (Romantic)
Well, you finally did it. I have fallen out of love with you. I can't tolerate your manipulative endeavours. The way that you have people fall for you only to hurt them. How do you manage to entice people to fall for you so? On the surface you are alluring, dangling your gift boxes of empty promises. On the inside you are worm wood; rotting from the inside. You are a virus infecting the unaware and naive. I see your intrinsic self in how you treat my friends. The twisted way you invoke temporary fits on jealous insanity. How do you trick people to keep giving so much of themselves that they are nothing more than a reprobate? What is your opium that causes people to remain with you even after seeing your flaws, your vices - your self? You are a stain. There is no use for you. What are you good for? There's even no use for you in heaven, you're not even welcomed there. Well, no more. This fool has wised up. Farewell to you and the Babylon whore that you clawed your way out of like the miscreation you are. I have fallen so much out of love with you that even the idea of you causes bouts of nausea and anxiety.
Verve
Well, things have been busy lately. As per my last post, I did some work for the PAUSE conference and really enjoyed it. Now, I am working with a group called Well Entertainment Group. They are currently putting on a monthly event called Verve. The first one will be this Friday, November. See the flyer for more info.
Busy As Hell
Sorry that I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks. Things have really just been busy. I will be presenting the speakers at the PAUSE Conference which is an exploration of concept and design within Broadcast and Film. From :30 commercial spots to feature film projects, PAUSE examines the creative and technical approaches of industry leading studios and agencies. I will full access to all parties and events corresponding to the conference. It is going to be a wonderful opportunity to network and see some of the works of the key leaders in the industry. I'm so excited.
I also was able to get my foot in the door to help with a music video being created for Amnesty International. I am excited about this because this is a realm that I haven't had the chance to embark upon. I am looking forward to really using this opportunity to learn new skills and make even more contacts. There will be more information on this later and I will post the finished product here also. So the next several weeks are going to be crazy but well worth the time and effort.
