My Earliest Childhood Memory

My earliest childhood memory is of me laying on my great-grandmother's floor. The sun was shining brightly and I could hear the neighborhood children playing outside. I was watching tv. and remember my mom and my grandmother waving goodbye. I remember being really concerned on their leaving but went back to watching tv. Afterall, Godzilla vs Gamera was on. How I loved Gamera!!! For you youngsters, he was a flying turtle monster who always fought to protect children. My babysitter then came and sat on the couch behind me. I rememeber him calling my name, Boo. That's right, my nickname was Boo, short for Bookie. Go ahead and laugh........ Is it out of your system yet?......... Ok, how about now?.... Good! Let's continue. He told me to come to him. When I did, he pulled out his dick and told me to suck on it. This evidently was nothing new because, although I don't remember, at that time it was familiar. He then made me take off all of my clothes and lay on my stomach watching tv. It was at this point that I felt him penetrate me. I remember him bouncing on me but I didn't understand what he was doing. I knew that it was wrong and I didn't like it (at least at that time). After he was done, he went into the kitchen and gave me a piece of cake. It had that old school icing on it, you know the thick kind. I hated icing for the longest time.

I was molested for a period of two years, from the age 3-5. I actually remember the whole ordeal which surprises people to this day. I remember vividly the accounts one after another by various people. When I told my parents (later when I was 17) what had happened, they didn't believe me. That was until I described the places down the the type of carpet and the wall colors. I remember my mom breaking down into tears. For the first time I saw my dad emotional in a way that really made me realize the impact it had on them also. To this day, I have never told them who my molesters were. That's right, I said were. They have since died of AIDS. At least the ones that I kept track. I don't rejoice in that but is another reason why I believe in Karma.

Of course, there were many issues and questions resulting from that ordeal. Why didn't that turn me off from sleeping with men, is among them. Maybe one day I will blog about some of those issues and the depth of them. I thank God for the strength to keep my sanity through it all. For parents that raised me in a way that taught me against such things so that I wouldn't repeat the cycle. And who for the rest of my childhood kept me ultra protected.

I am surprised that even with the number of times that I have discussed this with other people, even now I am welling up. For you city-slickers, that means about to cry. LOL Anyway, I was talking with some of the bloggers yesterday and I was surprised with the number of people who had been molested or fondled as a child. This made me think about an impromptu poll to see how many other people this has happened to. If you don't mind sharing, let us know if you were or not and if so, what helped you to get through it.

On a Lighter Note
Created and Directed by Yael Farber
Written in collaboration with the cast based on their life experiences

Based on the real lives of the five South Africans, AMAJUBA: Like Doves We Rise is a breathtaking portrayal of growing up in Apartheid. This unforgettable theatrical experience, told through heartwrenching narration, traditional dance, and stunning a capella harmonies, is a celebration of the strength of the human spirit.

Performed by: Tshallo Chokwe, Roelf Matlala, Bongeka Mpongwana,
Phillip “Tipo” Tindisa and Jabulile Tshabalala


For tickets, please call 212-307-4100 or visit
Plays Tuesday - Sunday at 8pm, Saturday & Sunday at 3pm


kool June 19, 2006 8:14 PM  

Thanks for sharing your experience. It was very unfortunate, but i'm glad to see that you made it through ok.

Jay June 19, 2006 9:27 PM  

I'm going to blog about this soon, but I wasn't molestated. Thanks for sharing, i kno it must have been difficult for u

Delaleuverses June 20, 2006 3:22 AM  

Ty, your story touched me to the core and bought back memories of my own molestation experience, the bits and pieces I do remember in the years I lived with relatives in Haiti is enough to make anyone sick in their stomach. Thanks for sharing with us your experience but like yourself I also believe in karma. You deserve a big hug for having the balls to write about this, it says a lot about your emotional strenght, see you are standing tall, I give you kudos, props for being the man you are today.

fuzzy June 20, 2006 1:04 PM  

Wow Ty, I never knew... I never was molested and my heart goes out to you and all who were. If you ever need to talk more about it, I have an ear to lend you. I'll talk to you later Boo

antneya June 20, 2006 2:54 PM  

oh mouth is open at this one...Luckily I was never molested..and I hope that anyone that reads your post that was molested and never shared their story with anyone can read what you wrote and know that it is okay to share their experience with someone. I am glad that you have reached a point where you feel comfortable about sharing it.

Ty June 20, 2006 3:50 PM  

Thanks guys. I don't want it to seem like my childhood was awful. This was one period of time and although the circumstances were horrific, the rest of my childhood was absolutely wonderful. Excellent parents. I will say that although I have shared this face-to-face with close friends, putting this on the blog has been really hard. I find myself becoming a little emotional at some of the posts and even when I was writting it.

Again, thanks guys-n-gals.

mytruth June 20, 2006 10:16 PM  

I am so blown right now. WOW! That was a lot to put in writing. I touched on this subject in my blog way back, but I don't think I have the nerve to get down like this. whew. I'm glad you didn't let that consume you. I feel like you need a hug after such disclosure. *hug* jeez

mytruth June 20, 2006 10:18 PM  


Ty June 21, 2006 9:41 AM  

@ mytruth -
Why are you pissed?

mytruth June 21, 2006 10:38 AM  

I'm pissed b/c this happen to you. Stuff like this I take so personally.

Bougie Black Boy June 27, 2006 7:56 PM  

this is one of your best posts. I want to read and learn more about you.... I love your honesty.